Uncharted Territory/Home Office in New Beginnings

I’ve been thinking about the future of my love life or lack thereof as the case may be. I realize that many marriages end in bitter divorce, but many don’t. Plenty of couples remained happily married until the end of their natural lives. Realistically, I may not ever join that group. I think on paper, I’m a very suitable potential husband. I’m gainfully employed, I’m solvent on my only debt (my mortgage), I stay in shape, etc. Like everyone else, though, I also have my flaws. Perhaps my most damaging flaw is my social awkwardness and anxiety.

Even the few dates or close friendships with women I’ve been able to obtain, I’ve never been able to make a serious connection. I don’t know what it is that makes two people hit it off and want more than just a platonic relationship, but I certainly seem to lack it. If I remain celibate for the rest of my life, I’m feeling especially compelled to wrestle with how my later years will turn out. I mean, while there are plenty of happily married people in their senior years, how many happy celibates are there? If this path is the one my life is going to take, I can’t think of any examples that comfort me how my later years will be. At worse, I may end up alone in a nursing home should I lose my health because I have no one to take care of me. At best, I may end up functional but psychologically disturbed as is usually a result from prolonged isolation. I’ve already got three cats, so I’m well on my way to being a spinster, or whatever the male equivalent of a spinster is.

Something exciting is happening at work. Starting this Wednesday, a renovation project will begin on our office. It’s more of a downgrade than an upgrade. Our updated cubicles will be smaller, so the company can hire more employees. I suppose that’s a good sign my company’s health, though. However, for the next two weeks, I get to telecommute from my home office. I get a reprieve from battling Atlanta commuter traffic. I also get pajama-optional work days. I hope I don’t get too used to this set up.