Daily Entries, lets get back to how it was on OD in 2015

I’ve decided to try and start doing daily entries, or at least every second day. Guys, this used to be my THERAPY. And I’m sure its the same for a lot of you. We started these “diaries” 100 years ago knowing that by venting out our frustrations or telling the anonymous world our feelings, that it would heal us and help us get through things!

When did that stop? I used to write solely for ME. I started at OD back when I was a teenager living in the city. I would write my innermost thoughts and feelings. I didn’t care who thought what about it. It was for me. I need that in my life again. So from now on you guys are getting the innermost, deepest, REAL shit from me. And its going to be a helluva lot more frequent than it has been for the last year.

I miss the old days, and I want them back.

Ok, yesterday. Had coffee with my Sensei. I told him everything that has been going on in my life. We are really close like that but through both of our very busy summers, we lost touch. I wanted him to know why I haven’t been at Karate. The reason being I was focused on Miley. Shes a bit better-ish now, so last night I went.

It felt great. It was quite the work out, but now I remember why I was going in the first place. I’m good. I get things easily, I understand the movements, the blocks, punches, kicks, kata. I get it all and it comes so naturally to me so its very rewarding. I enjoy that because on a day to day basis, I don’t get rewards lol. I cook and clean and child rear and keep a house and I feel like, I need something thats going to PUSH ME and make me better and moving through the ranks at karate is something that does this. Yes I get rewarded with my photography too. I love seeing my clients happy with their photos. We all need to do something in our lives, that helps us feel great about ourselves.

Chris and I are still good. There was a bit there at the start of summer that wasn’t so good… once the drag races came into play. But we’ve since worked it all through and are MUCH better at communicating than we used to be.

Example: Miley goes to bed 30-40 mins after Evelyn. Chris was mad last night because the night before, Miley didn’t behave so he determined that she was to go to bed at the same time as Evelyn, as a punishment. He said he has put his foot down. And I respected his decision as a parent. However- thats not why she goes to bed later. So I took him aside and talked with him. I told him, not within Miley’s earshot, that I didn’t agree with his decision because the main reason why she goes to bed later, is so that Evelyn has a fighting chance at getting to sleep before Miley starts her drama.

We both agreed that even though we told Miley it was bedtime, that she was able to stay up for another 20 mins. Granted shes quiet and just reading books on the couch. Normally I would have just snapped on him for trying to make decisions. This is something I’m bad with. I admit. I definitely do jump on him when he tries to parent. I mean, yes, I’m basically the sole caregiver and I do feel like I should be the one making most of the rules/decisions, but I need to learn how to respect his parenting as well. Which I have been learning to do. BUT-he has to learn how to take me aside and ask things before trying to change the way I do things around here, since most of the time, he isn’t here.

Kristen <3