Not an awful day in Musings and Daily Events

I was really hoping to meet up with M today. He said last night it might not happen because he wasn’t feeling well.

I said I’d be around and to let me know how he feels in the morning.

No call. No text. It was expected but I don’t know. I feel like I set myself up to be used. Or I put myself in situations where I know I’m going to start feeling insecure. I think I might end things with everyone. M and Matt, even Zack.

I don’t think I’m cut out for dealing with these feelings.

This happens. A lot. I tend to give a lot more than I receive. And I’m fine with it most of the time but eventually I hit a point where I start feeling a lack of worth. I feel like I’m doing ALL of the giving and this just isn’t fun anymore.

M and I hit that point, I think. I have gone and am still going out of my way for him and now I can’t even get a text back? Or an explanation as to why he’s suddenly not texting me?

I’m giving it until next week. He’s off next week so hopefully we can spend some time together while he’s up here working on the condo (which is down the road from my school). And maybe once he finishes it up he’ll feel a bit better and things will go back to the way they were.

And if not then I need to break things off. I’m not going to go around feeling like crap.

Anyway, I need to head to my interview. I’ll write more later.