And in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Wasn’t going to write an entry today… but then we got some news that I don’t know how to deal with. So… let me pretend this is a regular entry and then BAM hit you with the issue.

Today was another early starting day. Court this morning leading straight into a long day at the Jail Law Library. In other words: beaucoup bucks! Though… also… exhausting, irritating, and draining. A great deal more evidence, though, that the criminal mind is not often an educated one. We receive many written requests in the law library and they typically all have overt errors. Not simply grammar, though enough of that to choke a donkey. But things like “contack” instead contact; “imformation” instead of information; “ax” instead of ask; and “trubl” instead of trouble. And before you think I’m picking on a single inmate… rest assured that I am not. These types of mistakes are prolific throughout the many papers received.

Of course, the further frustrations arise from the inmate complaints about their cases. :bangs head on desk: I don’t get it. How can someone be carrying 50 grams of cocaine on their person and try to argue that they didn’t do anything wrong? Seriously, I want to know what makes a person believe that carrying a bag full of cocaine is “no big deal.” Yeah, maybe the War on Drugs has been ridiculously stupid and there is room to negotiate how we deal with drug offenders. But… still… a baggy full of cocaine is an issue and it boggles my mind that the inmate is arguing (with anyone who will listen) that he didn’t break the law by having it on his person.

Add that to the wonderful, often heard, misinformation about warrants. SO MANY inmates believe that they cannot/could not be lawfully arrested if no arrest warrant was obtained. Seriously? You think that any time an officer desires to arrest an individual that officer has to drop what they are doing, fill out paperwork, find the duty judge, get that judge’s signature, and then return to put you under arrest? That is so ridiculously foolish as to be laughable. If you are breaking the law in front of a police officer… they can arrest you. If a police officer requests to look in your bag and you give them permission… if there is something illegal in that bag, they can arrest you. If you start throwing things at a police officer… they don’t have to get special permission to arrest you, you’ve technically assaulted a police officer and he can arrest you. I’d say 76% of the inmates I’ve seen in this job believe that The Warrant is a magical piece of paper that must be present at every arrest. Not. At. All. Really! But… these individuals come back every week searching through case files because they know they are going to find the case that proves them correct.

There were two uniquely interesting experiences today. First, a 34 year old man that had never used a search engine before. I can’t say that confidently, but as he had a question every 49 seconds about how to use the search engine… either he’d never used one before, was severely mentally retarded (not an insult, used as diagnosis) or both. Likely both, I assume. The second, though, was essentially more straight-up frustration. An inmate wanted us to get him everything which… luckily… we are not allowed to do. When an inmate who is not listed as ProSe requests that the Law Librarian essentially act as counsel… that is against the law and we are to inform the inmate that they should take it all up with their attorney. Of course, the inmate didn’t like that answer. Why? Well… let me explain… this particular inmate wanted a Bond Review. A bond review is a hearing to re-assess bond. In such a hearing, the listed bond can be reduced, maintained, or raised. In this inmate’s case… a bond review would clearly get it raised. Because while he was out on 2 other bonds, he committed more crimes. But… we told him to speak to his attorney. The inmate was very displeased. He said that when last he spoke with his attorney, the attorney refused to file a bond review. “Said something about it not being worth it.” The inmate then decided to spend 15 minutes explaining to us how that proved the attorney “simply didn’t want to do her damned job.” We decided to TRY to cut this guy off from wasting another 15 minutes and explained to him that a bond review could, and likely would, act only to raise his bond… the exact opposite outcome that he would want. But… since there are no certainties… he kept saying “But the bond review might lower the bond too, right?” Yes sir. It could lower the bond, it could also not affect the bond, or… from what it looks like… it would likely raise the bond. “But it could get lowered, right?” Oh holy fucking hell… sometimes I think that these people desperately NEED to be locked up in this jail because otherwise… they’d be out among the common citizenry and everyone else would have to deal with this level of bullshit!

So after that… a day which beginning to end took about 10 hours… I come home to a message from my wife. HINT- THIS IS THE SHIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING.
I had finally convinced my wife to start looking at transferring Wal Marts. We both want to go back to Iowa and it would certainly be easier to find a law job in a state where I’m actually living. Last night, Wife kept talking about how afraid she was looking for transfers to Iowa and how if nothing came about what would we do for insurance and on and on. I attempted to encourage her that being aware of a potential problem is good, but to worry about something that wouldn’t even be a problem until May wasn’t the best way of preparing.
Well… shoot me in the foot because when I’m right, I’m right. She had already received a phone call TODAY asking if she wanted to transfer to Ames. Ames, by the way, is the city where my brother and sister-in-law and niece live. But the Wal Mart that called her wants an answer by this friday! Ufda. So… now I get to try to weigh things quickly.
Do we
(a) say Yes to this job… even though it would mean I’d have to quit Pretrial extremely fucking soon, potentially leaving them without someone in the Law Library… plus then I wouldn’t have a job… plus trying to find a place to live and packing this place up PDQ… and doing all of this super duper quickly....
OR
(b) say No to this job… even though Wife really needs to get out of her current Wal Mart… plus risking the potential that if we do need her to transfer next year, maybe nothing would be open… plus certainly no guaranteed (or even likely) jobs have been on the horizon for me lately.

And that is the sticky awkward question. Does she say yes to Ames… putting us closer to family, but decreasing our income, and requiring a fast-as-hell move.... or does she say no to Ames… subjecting her to another Christmas at the Wal Mart she says is killing her, but helping our income and allowing us a bit more time to see if I get a “Big Boy” job so we wouldn’t have to move twice in one 12 month period???