No way out in I do exist

I met my husband in 2000 on the Internet. We hit if off straight away. Met him for first time after a few months and knew it was meant to be.

In 2001 my employer closed offices here in Germany and I used to the chance to move over to the UK to be with him. We moved in together and were happy. 6 months later we got married.

In 2002 our daughter was born.

Things didn’t work out work wise in the UK so we made the decision of coming back here to Germany. We have been back now for 5 years. Everything was ok up until the last year where I noticed that I don’t feel the way I used to anymore.

A lot has happened in our family. In 2013 I lost 4 people in our family. It was a hard blow. It was a horrible year.

My husband is the total opposite of me: Relaxed, not a worrier. Very shy around people
Due to the language barrier he is finding it very hard to meet new people, to communicate with people. We don’t communicate that much anymore. He is working. He does have a few “friends” at work he is getting along with quite well. But he doesn’t go out with them.

I find it hard that everything depends on me. Everything is organized by myself (Bills, communication with Companies, banks, doctors….) all down to me because he is too shy to do it. It is knackering.

I am tired!!!

I am at a point where I just want to give up. I don’t want my life like that. I want a strong man next to me, who will take care of me from time to time. I don’t want this anxious feeling of having to organize everything for us. I might as well live on my own….

If things would be that easy….

Where would he go? What would he do? What would happen to my daughter if we were to divorce? Would he move back to the UK? He doesn’t have any savings, doesn’t have anywhere to go in England….
I worry about that. I worry that my life will be like this forever.

There is no way out….I can’t see a way at the moment.
Is there a way? I am just so unhappy. So depressed….