What would you do if, survey. in Stolen surveys.

(yeah, just entertaining myself here)

Oh shit, I just realized I had a folder for surveys.

Stranded in a forest alone
I would do my best to get the fuck out of there. duh.

Sensed someone stalking you
Try to find out who it was, and see if we could have sick stalker sex.
Psycho women tend to be the best lays.

You suddenly developed superhuman strength
I would start showing off of course.

You saw a dead cat
Try not to stare at it, and move on. I hate seeing dead cats. I love those little fuzzy fuckers.

You saw a dead human
Depends on if she was cute, intact, and fresh, and if no one else was around.
If others were around, I would just act all respectful and shit.

Someone anonymously send a love note
I’d think it was a hoax, shake my head and laugh it off.

You become blind
I’‘d fucking panic and go down the rabbit hole of depression.

Your car breaks down beside a graveyard
Call for a tow truck, and while waiting for it to come, go read the grave stones, and hope that all the quiet doesn’t give me the need to take a shit.
(Yes, very quiet places tend to do that to me, don’t know why)

Your bestfriend calls you at 4am
My phone is usually turned off at night, but if I got the call I would find out what they wanted and help them out of they were in trouble.

You could bring back anyone from 6 feet under
ELVIS!!! or maybe Dana Plato, if I knew she would do me.

Someone kept staring at you
It wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d be happy to know that I gave them so much pleasure.

Someone ate your lunch
I’d go get another lunch.

You’re at a stranger’s funeral
I doubt that would ever happen, but I’d be quiet and respectful.

You got 100 free spray cans
Throw them out.

A horse came chasing after you
Panic like a mother fucker. Horses freak me out just by their crazy eyes.