A little bit about the past...(Triggers) in Friends With the Benedicts

–Warning - this deals with molestation and rape and is triggering to some people. Read at your own risk!!–
I’m feeling like sharing. I haven’t made up my mind yet whther this will be private or not, but yall know I am a very open person, so here goes…

When I was 9, I was molested by my great grandfather. He is only my grandfather by name, thankfully. LOL. We had gone on a small trip to visit some of my granny’s friends and he took advantage of each time I was alone to touch me. Over the course of the whole day, I would say he touched me about ten times. Apparently, I would come to later find out that he had molested a lot of people in our family, including my Mom. I should have been watched more carefully with him. I told a guidance counselor at school and they notified my Mom. I believe he did get in trouble, but I don’t rember exactly how. I later forgave him when he was dying of cancer and told him so.

When I was 16, I was somewhat of a slut. lol. I was also bisexual, and in my first relationship with a girl, Jenni. One night we went over to some boys house and she left to go sleep with the guy’s cousin in another house, leaving me with the guy to sleep with him. This was the second time I had been with him, so it was not a big thing. As we were having sex, the guy’s brother crawled thru the window. At first I was OK with him just watching, because that’s all he was doing. Then he started coming up behind me and touching my butt, (I was on top) like he meant to stick somthing in me there. I said don’t do that, and he stopped. Then when me and the first guy got done, his brother came over and started going down on me. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t. I figured if that’s all he was going to do, then that’s better than somthing else, so I stopped fighting and let him do it. Then he strted making a move like he wanted to have sex with me. I said no a bunch of times, but he wouldn’t listen and kept going. I remember I was laying on the bottom of a bunk bed, and I can still see the slats of the top bunk that I stared at while he fucked me. After he was done, he left out the window. The first guy wanted me to have sex with him again and I wouldn’t. He got mad at me and said his arm was hurting and that’s why he wanted it. Yea, I know. Anyway, all I wanted was to get out of there and find Jenni. I left, and it was raining. It was also November, so it’s hard for me to hear the song November Rain by Guns N Roses. lol. I couldn’t find Jenni but I had to get out of the rain. I ended up at another house on the same property, they had like 3 or 4 houses. It was the rapist’s house. He acted like nothing had happened, and invited me in, offered me something to drink. I had to sit there and wait for the rain to stop with the guy who had just raped me not ten minutes before. Finally Jenni came and found me and we went home. Later, I started crying and told her what happened. She didn’t believe me. Furthermore, she told me if I told anyone, like the cops, that it would get the first guy, Lee, in trouble too and they had decided to start seeing each other. Ours was an abusive relationship, as you can tell, and I have never forgiven her for this. Well, there ya go, those are the stories of when I was molested and raped. Sorry if this makes anyone feel bad. And if you have ever been raped, I am so very sorry. (huge hugs)

Steph