The Great Escape in Entries of Great Significance

And sometimes the inspiration comes from sailing through your thoughts without aim..

“The Great Escape”

Have you ever broken a heart with just a name? Gathered it within your failing fingers, and wanted nothing more than to not be the one to blame? And in the end, as with all great stories of tragic love, it crumbles.

Because you did.

Just the same..

Welcome to the shame!

So you start treading lightly, and you allow the sun to hit your face. You used to hide behind a smile, but no longer, because that only invites them in. And you cannot give them – ever – what they have wanted. What they need.

Another failure.

Always the same.

Now? The legs begin to fidget as your pace quickens. And you do not even realize just how much you’ve changed, and how little a difference it has made. You seek shelter from the falling leaves, as the sun burns white-hot and you struggle to breathe.

So you seek to escape.

Onto the moonlight, and hold her tightly in your gaze. Allow her to possibly posture you, because you no longer walk with a perfect gait. Your frame has taken the bearing of such a weighted load. Your shoulders are staggered. You slump and you feel so restless.

The night does not ever offer you what you would want.

An escape.

From yourself.

Your broken bones and disfigured feelings.

Not to mention the shredded heart and all of that beautiful shame.

There is no escape.

So you wonder and you wander and you hope for a change.

Maybe if I just let in no light at all, I’ll somehow find comfort in my eternal darkness. My trusted friend.

Now? You shrink.

Recoil. Hardly ever blink except when a brief mote of starlight strikes your eyesight and you gasp in horror. What is that? What are you? Some cosmic visitor? You! What a curious and damning thing!

Someday, though, as you huddle and your hands still fumble with everything and your fingers struggle to ever keep your long-frozen heart warm and not its comfortable numb, its precious cold, well..

You start to pray.

Look skyward.

Tell me, if there exists a God, will you not ever reveal yourself?

I have heard so many fables of your legend.

If you love me, why don’t you just say it?

Now? Now you fade.

Fade away.

The great escape.

© Brian Milici
September 24, 2015

How are all you crazy kids?!

Life has been pretty darn good for me, and I have little complaints.

I might finally have found a suitable roommate, too, if my ex would ever respond to my emails so we can okay him to move in (we bought our house together, and then we broke up, so we have a very unfortunate marriage in that sense).. She said she was in Germany visiting her brother. I knew she would be eventually, just didn’t realize it’d line up with when I found this roommate.

He seems pretty cool. Video game nerd type and he has two cats and I miss Piper and Leo terribly so it would be nice to see the dogs with cats again! The ex took Piper and Leo when we split, sadly. :(

Would definitely help my financial situation and ease that, which would be huge. I also found out my best friend Steve knew him like 10 years ago. We were shooting pool at Karaoke on Friday night and I mentioned his name in passing and Steve was like I know that dude! I asked Sean and sure enough.. yeah! They do! He was friends with the brother of Steve’s “black hole.”

Heh, they refer to my ex as “Brian’s black hole” because Steve dated this chick, almost married her twice, but she cheated on him repeatedly, and Steve’s brother described her once to Steve’s current amazing wife Sam as “a black hole in Steve’s life. She just sucked the joy out of everything and used him up constantly.” And one day Sam was like, your ex? She’s your black hole. lol. Kind of amusing. (Sam and Steve knew her well.) So we usually don’t refer to their names ever, just as my black hole and Steve’s black hole. Heh. I do hope she’s found happiness, though, truly. We all deserve it.

So hopefully it’ll all work itself out well! I will be meeting my first ProseBox member and my first Canadian soon. She’ll be coming in for a visit and I’ll get to show her New Orleans.

I kind of have a thing about New Orleans if you guys haven’t noticed. If you’re ever coming, please let me know! I’ll totally give you the legit tour! Anyway. That should be fun! I’ve met so many from OpenDiary that I am still quite close to up to this very day more than a decade later. Some of you still read me! What a crazy world.

Okay, I am exhausted and I have things to get done! So, until next time, be good.

By the way, a couple of you have mentioned you would prefer to hear me recite my writings over read it. Do you want me to start doing that each time if I can find the time? If so, I’ll try! Several said the video I made of “Cherish You” completely changed their perception of the poem and they actually liked it a lot after hearing it read aloud versus just reading it straight. I enjoy a certain cadence and flow to my writing so sometimes that is lost in translation..

In case you missed it:

*Oh, and feedback on my writing is, as always, adored. *

May you always find your smile.

Last updated September 24, 2015