Making up for lost time in Musings and Daily Events

I hated them both. I wanted nothing more than to see them both burn in hell and laugh maniacally as it happened.

But everything changed (when the Fire Nation attacked lol jk) but seriously. I realized that I need to let it go. Long story short, my best friend of 10 years slept with my ex (Dan). I harbored all of this resentment for the both of them over the fact for a few months. I can’t do that anymore. Yes it was a shitty thing to do. But you know what?

I need to forgive.

These two are my best friends. We’ve been through a lot together and I feel I need to just let this go. The resentment is taking it’s toll and I just feel I need to forgive them and move on.

If they fuck me over again then I’m done. But, I love them both. I’m willing to let things go. It happened. Now we move passed it. And continue to create memories that will overshadow the bad ones.

If they’ll have me back that is. I was awful to Dan and haven’t talked to Jess in a few weeks. Dan got the brunt end. I told him I didn’t want to be friends anymore. Jess....I didn’t do anything per say. I texted her on 8/25 to hang out and she couldn’t. Neither of us have texted the other since.

I texted both of them today. Dan and I made up. He doesn’t like burning bridges either.

When i texted Jess....well she was rude.

“Hey are you free today” “She speaks…I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

I was so tempted to be like uh the phone works both ways. You NEVER text me ever. Like, ever. You don’t even answer my texts half the time. Fuck off.

But I took the high road

“It’s been kind of nuts on my end. I’m sorry. Look I’m not going to make excuses. I was mad and hurting. And when i tried to hang out with people everyone said they couldn’t. I stupidly took it as more than just everyone being busy and shut everyone out. I came to the conclusion that I’ve been stupid and need to appreciate those who are in my life. I’m not going to lose someone I’ve been friends with for ten years because i can’t get over my anger. I’m done with that. Sorry I’ve been an awful friend. I’d like to make up for it if you’ll let me.”

And she hasn’t answered me back. So I mean…it is what it is. I apologized. If she doesn’t forgive me then I guess it’s over. Which sucks but what can you do?

I just want my friends back.

Edit/Addition

Talked to Jess (the 10 year best friend). I guess we’re okay. It’s awkward and I think she’s mad…or busy. Whatever the case it seems to be okay now. I sat with her and we sort of caught up with life. It was tense. Things tend to be when there’s a confrontation to be had with us. We don’t like confronting each other. It’ll blow over. We just need to move on. Nd never talk about Dan. Ever.

Last updated September 22, 2015