I know the appeal of monogamy in PolyLife

I loved being poly. I loved having the many different relationships. The sexy, sensual man, the freedom loving hippie, the Dominant, the booty call, the sensitive one who just wants companionship....I loved every single one of them differently but equally.

I remember the night though. The night I was feeling lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to be by myself and I truly enjoy my own company. But, I am only human. I had been alone for a few days already, in my room, roaming the city, writing in coffee shops. I enjoyed my own time but that night I wanted to be with someone. I wanted to crawl into bed with someone and have them hold me, or to go out for food and enjoy a meal. I wanted human interaction.

And no one was there.

I texted and called. Either they were busy with something (or someone) else or didn’t answer. I remember thinking about how much it sucked that you could have so many people and still feel alone. I was texting people who I haven’t texted in months.

E answered me back. It was our first date. Maybe that’s what made me want the monogamous relationship with him. Because of that night, I associated him with the stability of monogamy. I associated him with always having someone there who you know without a doubt cares about you and will always be there for you.

I love the monogamous and I love the polyamorous. I guess my ability to love everything equally also goes into that part of my life as well.

I definitely see the appeal of monogamy though. The stability. The nights that are never really spent alone even if you are by yourself. because they are always there.