If today was your last day in My Unpredictable Life ...

"Sassy, when you coming home?"

"Soon Daddy. Soon."

"Good, 'cuz I don't know how much longer I can hang on, Doll Baby."

"I'm trying, Daddy. Money is tight but I'm doing my best to get the money saved up."

"Good, good. I miss you, Doll Baby."

"I miss you too, Daddy."

"Ok, Daddy loves you. Hug and kiss the Baby for me."

"I love you too, Daddy and I will."

That has pretty much been every phone conversation with my Dad for the past 6 months.

And it seems he has given up the fight.

Tonight I learned that he has stopped eating. He's stopped taking his meds. He's doing nothing but sleeping.

My step Mom said she was taking him to the hospital tomorrow.

He fell tonight and is now in the hospital.

I'm waiting on someone, anyone, to call me with an update.

This not knowing sucks.

Trying to pretend nothing is wrong in front of The Child is so, so hard. She is too tender-hearted. She's too emotional. She has a hard time just dealing with the fact that he is so ill. So I don't want to cause her any undue stress until it is necessary.

I have to keep it together. I can't fall apart. I will have a 22 hour drive, one way, ahead of me and I need to be on my top game to get her & I there in one piece. Hubby has no more vacation days left till Jan. and we definitely can't afford for him to miss work. And since he'd only get 3 days, and 2 of those is just driving one way, well, it's best for us for him to stay home & work. Although it will kill him to miss the funeral.

We can not afford plane tickets. Amtrak will take 3 days to get there. Driving is the only option.

I can only hope to make it to Nashville to spend the night with my Uncle (my Dad's brother) and then continue on with them the following day. There is no way I could drive, safely, straight through for 22 hours. Otherwise, I'll have to get a hotel and that is extra money I don't want to spend. I need all the money for gas.

God, I don't want to be planning this trip ...

Please Daddy, please hang on just a little while longer ... I'm not ready to let you go yet ....