Twitterballs, update on my "situation", and the news. in Chunky giblets

THIS ENTRY IS THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF TL;DR. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Well, there’s absolutely nothing I can do. I got the verification code (thanks Synapse) but there’s absolutely no place to enter it. When I try to log into Twitter it just asks me for my phone number again.

Well, fuck you, Twitter. I loved using you because there was no verification bullshit on your part, and that was the reason I jumped from Facebook to Twitter in the first Goddamn place. I actually really love Twitter, and now you’re punishing me for not having a cell-phone number? Oh, the dick you suck be big.

Fucking Twitter.

So what’s happening in the world, let’s have a look… Well, first off, I got a new wardrobe courtesy of the charity shop down the road from where I am currently sitting. I got black cargo pants, a t-shirt with the band Desolated on the front, a t-shirt with the olde Guinness logo on the front, and a short-sleeved button-up shirt. I look pretty damn good, even though I say it myself.

But let’s take a look at the news. The Ashley Madison shitstorm shows no signs of abating; over 11 million passwords have been decrypted.

I really don’t think I should get involved in this. Unless you want me to, and you do, so here’s my take on the Ashley Madison shitstorm. I don’t condone hacking (lulz, right), and I do believe that your private life is your private life and it’s nobody’s business who you fuck or don’t fuck, and furthermore, if you’re really the kind of douchebag that wants to fucking cheat on your significant other, then go ahead, and fuck you too. Personally, I could never cheat, and I don’t understand why anyone could - if you really want to fuck someone other than your significant other, then break the fuck up with them first. Cheating is cowardly, a fucking weasel’s way, and you will never see me doing it.

That said, I don’t think it’s a good thing that the website was hacked and millions of people’s dirty linen is out there in the ether, ready to be exploited by a group of basement-dwellers. Whilst I really don’t think Ashley Madison is a website that should even exist, I also respect people’s rights to anonymity. If you want to be a dirty cheating fuck, you at least have the right not to be shamed for it… although personally… Grrr.

Moving on. Ze Germans had a pop at Facebook over racism claims. Aah, me. How times change. In a four minute German Green Party video, Katrin Goering-Eckardt read out some anti-immigrant abuse she had received, calling it “dirt that belongs in the bin”. It’s very difficult to disagree with this. After watching the video of that utter cunt reporter kicking and tripping migrant children, any xenophobic impulse that I had has almost completely evaporated. These people are fleeing horrifying persecution and abuse, and how do we treat them? This is the yaer 2015. We’re supposedly an advanced species, and yet this is how we act to our fellow brothers and sisters. I’m not trying to get on a soapbox here, but enough is enough. I want people to stop being cunts.

This just in: An American (of course) cop was filmed tackling and arresting former tennis star James Blake who was mistaken for a criminal. He was mistaken for a suspect in a fraud case, apparently. Well done. Understandably, Mr Blake is not fucking amused. I suspect legal action will be taken.

Entertainment news, and for some fucking reason the Jackson Fucking Five has just scored a UK number 1. What? Is this the fucking 70’s? Did I go back in time? Jesus Wept. Some fucking DJ samples ABC and the country turns into a bunch of slobbering retards. But I’m slightly mollified by the fact that Iron Maiden’s new album is number one in the album charts, so fuck you, Jackson Five.

Justin Bieber continues to be offensive to every atom in my being. This fucking guy. He left a very young fan in tears yesterday after he refused to give her an autograph. After that, a gang of young fans (read “morons”) waited hours to meet him and he just waltzed into his SUV and slammed the door in their faces. Why do I have to live in a world where Hendrix is dead at 27 and Lennon was murdered, yet this talentless cunt thrives? Jesus fucking Christ. Well, Bieber, you little scrotum, if by some miracle you’re reading this, go fuck a cactus.

All right, I think I’m done here. Hope you enjoyed the rant.

Edit!
If you did enjoy the rant and want to send me death threats, why not email me? It’s themfbatman@outlook.com. DO NOT ABUSE THIS POWER I HAVE BESTOWED UPON THEE.

Last updated September 12, 2015