nevermind i'll find someone like you in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

except that’s the thing. is i don’t want someone like stephanie i haven’t for awhile. i’ve already gone over why.
knowing her. she’s going to be all emotionally outwardly expressive about this. she’s already sad which now that i think about it i’m somewhat weirdly relieved by. i mean yeah it’s hard for me too. i just. don’t express it. I don’t like good byes. well i don’t know that a lot of people do unless they like. don’t like the person or something.
I remember once this girl Holly i knew from the bar. sweet beautiful person everyone loves her. anyway so she was having a goodbye party at the bar. she invited people via fb. and i didn’t go. bc it would make me too emotional. i didn’t even cry at my grandmother’s service [4 yrs. ago]. i cried the days leading up to it to the service and her passing. yeah but back to the holly story. and so that night i drank. [so what else is new]. actually so i’d have an excuse not to go. However. at some point later via fb i pm-ed her and told her how i felt about her. so she knows presumably. and i might do that w/ steph. [dangit]. i don’t really want to talk more about that.
but anyway. steph’s going to be how she always is about things. which would do what it always does for me. so really nothing’s changed.