Apple Pencil - Are you fucking KIDDING ME in Chunky giblets

I’ve been in a bit of a drunken void for the past week or two, so I’m just now catching up on certain things, but are you fucking kidding me?!

The Apple Pencil, for those who haven’t had the pleasure, is basically a stylus with a goofy name and a $100 price tag. They really, at this point, are just saying “fuck you people, you’re fucking morons, and you’ll buy anything.” And you know what? They’re right. Hipster faggots all over the world will be creaming their skinny jeans just at the thought of yet another useless fucking Appletard product.

But let’s think about this for a second. Are Apple in serious danger or something? Because look - 2014: bigger phones! 2015: Apple Pencil. Next it’ll be 2016: Apple Fax Machine. 2017: Apple Pager. 2018: Apple Abacus? Fuck knows. All I know is that this is such a bad idea, it even goes against the wishes of late Applefag Supreme Steve Jobs himself. “If you see a stylus they blew it,” he once said. “You have to get them and put them away and you lose them. Yuck.”

Yuck indeed, asshole. Yuck indeed. Fucking Apple. Cunts.

EDIT

According to JK Rowling herself, we’ve all been mispronouncing Voldemort; the “t” is silent. Who knew? Or cares.

Last updated September 11, 2015