ache in poetry

I am not entitled to love
I do not in some way specially deserve love
yet I cannot deny my longing

some woman of nostalgic interest
with orange lipstick on her lips
and a quick stolen kiss
but that was just a dream

met her as the waves were lapping
there up on the pier
it made my little heart explode
it made my little year
but it was just some internal scene
generated by a sliver of despair

I am owed nothing by the universe
or women let alone any one individual
my life’s been weird lately
I am in no space particular
for a romance of any normal sort
let alone a fling for sport
but I think upon nostalgia
in that way nostalgia seeps
into every crack
of every little thing you feel you lack
and I ache

a little bit I ache