evan & i. again. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

we’re better. um. after sending him angry texts last night [wed.]. well we talked about some things. and um. i asked him if i deserve to be defended. and he said i do. which is one of the things i wanted. i also asked him. if i’m making too much of the amber situation and he said ‘yes and no
. but i only wanted him to say no. there are still some things he doesn’t understand about that. i told him that it frustrates me when i keep having to tell him exactly what to say to help me when he should just know. and he texted me and replied and was like ‘yeah but i won’t always be able to. though i do try’. and i’m like ‘ok thank you for listening that helps. and i want him to keep trying.’

um. there are a few things that still haven’t been resolved. between us. such as.............well. i want him to be upset about the amber thing and its impact on me still waiting for that. so i feel like he cares. like i know that he does but it’s different than feeling it.

and i want to know that he understands that i don’t want to be in another abusive relationship. so i’m still waiting on that.