evan & i in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

um. so last night he calls. a few times. i’m busy so can’t answer. and then i call him back or he calls me idr. we only talk for 10 mins. he starts in w/ telling me he won’t or doesn’t want to or something drink anymore. while being drunk. he’s not the type who usually just jumps right into conversation. he’s not an alcoholic but he has hep and when he drinks i worry about him and his health. and then. well i think that was it.

things are still. not great between us. idinno i’ve sortof. ok so i have. become slightly cold and distant towards him. we haven’t talked about ..........sun. night yet cause i haven’t had the time to. maybe we’ll have time tonight. i’m still not ok.
this is how’d i feel at times when my ex and i were together.

i still want comfort [which he knows] cause all of this is hard. the stuff w/ him, recovering from the rape.........thinking about it and blogging and writing. about it. damn.