Old friend in A New Chapter

It has certainly been some time since I came here to vent out. Life has just been too busy. I suppose I always get caught up on wanting to write a ton to catch up the world on what I have been up to. That is just not going to happen..

I am dealing with a bit of a crisis at the moment. I am not dying or falling apart or anything among those lines.
Just in time to enter the originality contest: I hate my job.
There is a lot too it but I just don’t feel satisfied at all.
I am not interested in corporate bureaucracy..or silly pathetic rules..or stupid human rituals. It is just not me. I have been part of it for wayy too long and I don’t feel it anymore.
So why have I stayed?
money, benefits, retirement plans, insurance, etc.
I have been searching for jobs for a few months now but it has been hard.
Primarily, I just don’t feel like I am a person that is meant to be part of such a rigid routine.
I have REALLY been pushing to take my art and 3D printing work in a economical route in order to profit from it. So far I have had SOME success but not nearly enough to make the decision to quit my job and make a living from it.
I have been very fortunate in m life, financially speaking. I come from a caring and loving family.
People tell me to be happy. A lot.
However, I can’t help but feel the following way sometimes: “If this is some of the best life has to offer..I am not impressed.”

I don’t want gold or castles, suits of exotic cashmere or fast vehicles.
I want to work.
I just want to feel like what I do does something. I want to like it. I want to feel proud.
I have been watching and loving Mr. Robot.
During one episode, a character says something among the lines of..
some people are just born to serve others, give them salads for lunch or die in a tiny corner office with nothing to say or provide to the world.
I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach immediately.
I don’t really ever get emotional with media..but wow..holy shit.

Thanks old friend. I really needed someone to listen.
Thanks for listening and not judging. Hopefully I can come back more and speak to you. Hope all is well!

Last updated August 22, 2015