Toad, Larry and the Toy Box in Everyday Ramblings

I took this shot a couple of days ago and I like it because except for the wire in the upper left corner (and yes I know I could have modified that out of the picture) and the modern rain drainage this could be what one block looked like in 1900. That is one of the two community gardens in the area in front and this one is supported by the Park Department. There is a story about the lot it is on, just as there is a story about every lot in the neighborhood.

I have a couple of shoe boxes full of cat toys in the living room and it is such a hoot to wake up in the morning to see which toys Carlo and Diego have gotten out to play with overnight. This week they have liked the shiny things. We have no lack of toys here at Chez Noko.

Some of the spiritual practices I have been doing lately involve identifying the things that are troubling one, visualizing them in great detail and then engaging them in well, umm, conversation.

The biggest challenge for me lately is this exhaustion, this mystery sapping of energy and so that was the first place I went and I got a very clear visual.

My exhaustion is a big old shiny black toad with red stripes. She is actually gorgeous in the half-light at dawn but prefers hanging out in the mud with just her eyes and top of her head out, alligator fashion. She tells me she is actually related to a famous alligator and I believe her.

The deal is you are supposed to ask your “demon”, (the thing that is troubling you) both what it wants and what it needs. And then give it what it needs.

Her. Her name is Toad.

Last night I introduced Toad to Larry. Larry is my Buddhist counselor.

It was all very interesting. The three of us decided that I am no good to anyone unless I am getting the nourishment and rest I need to be fully and robustly functional.

So this morning I gave nine weeks notice on the Caregiver class up at the hospital.

It will be a slog, teaching the sub classes, my regular beloved public class and Caregivers for the nine weeks but then it will be over. This gives them time to find someone else and get them through all the training and vetting and vaccinations involved and I won’t have to worry about getting up the hill when the weather turns bad.

We are all very happy about this decision. I did it, I may do it again at some other point in time but for now with work, my creative projects, trying to have some semblance of a social life and chores, oh… and teaching… that is enough.

Luckily I am of an age where I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. No Sir.

Last updated August 21, 2015