Musings in Packrat

Free Spirit left in the wee hours this morning and is probably just now touching down in his home state. He had planned to be here a week, but he ended up working with his business every day. He’s the owner, and he said the place seems to fall apart when he’s not there.
…We never had the chance to talk or even spend time alone. I used to take off work when he comes, but sometimes it ended up wasted time (for instance, when his grandmother was still living, he took off to see her; she lived a 2.5 drive from me. He came back that night, so it was a whole day away. I understood and encouraged visits to his grandmother, but tell me so I don’t take off a whole day at work that I don’t need to!).
…He still wants to move here, but now he’s thinking out some different plan; I just stopped listening. I know he has a lot on his plate, but he has asked me on a regular basis to tell him if a job comes up here, yet when I do and it’s pretty much his if he wants it, he doesn’t even try. That’s his right, but that also told me he’s not serious deep in his heart about moving here, although he’s said since we met that that’s what he wants.
Play. The dates for Yale are set and Yale will pay for my travel and lodging to be on a panel. I’d love to go to Yale and an old friend there has already offered to show me around, but I absolutely do not want to support the play, although I also don’t want the playwrights to speak about our case without a tribal representative there. S said yesterday that he’s peeved that one of the playwrights, who is an attorney, and a law professor will be speaking about our case when neither are a part of it.
…The media campaign has halted, so S and I both figure the play will die. I’m not sorry for that.
Asylum Cemetery Project. So much has happened on that in the last few days! Crazy sent an email out last Friday, soliciting funds from the tribes; I finally made contact with members of a group who work to keep the asylum story remembered. They are not working together but they and not she have the official recognition from the city government. The federal government owns the land but the county and city have the use of it. I talked to the city manager and a couple of committee members; all told me I’m not the only one or even the first to refuse to work with Crazy. All of them commented, “We hear that a lot.”
…They have also told me that the fence Crazy claimed was falling apart is actually in good condition and the cemetery is very well maintained. Their plans and activities are respectful of the various tribal members buried there and their people’s practices; Crazy is not. She doesn’t seem to realize we are the representatives of individual sovereign nations. I can support this group, and I’m glad to know that Crazy’s bluster really is just a lot of hot air. She needs building permits and permission from city and county agencies to do anything on the property, and she’s been told this, but she has not sought them - so where are all the funds from the tribes going to go if she can’t use them?
…She has said she is an old woman who lost her ways until she came back among her people. Turns out that happened just in 2012. Three years, and now she’s the All American Indian?
…In her opinion repatriation from the cemetery was “an outrage” although by law the tribes have the right to do so. She said the tribe seeking repatriation had been influenced by the group she wants no part of because, for one reason, non natives are members, and she thinks the decision should be made by Indians only - and only if everybody follows her opinion. We are sovereign nations and not easily manipulated. As it turns out, there has already been a repatriation from that cemetery in 1982.
…I know some of the tribes contacted have also been in touch with the city manager and the official group, so I imagine Crazy will self destruct soon.
Newspaper article. I wasn’t really satisfied with my article about my cousin portraying Jim Thorpe because I knew there was so much more I could have said, and I didn’t get to work on it as long as I wanted, but he really liked it, and I’ve had great feedback from other tribal members. I tend to overthink anyway, and I have to remember I wasn’t writing my cousin’s life story.
Vacation. I need one desperately. I was starting to unravel before my brother got sick and saving up for a vacation I thought I’d take earlier in the year than my birthday, but now I don’t feel I can take a break when he and his caretakers can’t. My stash also had to pay for my new clutch, my new brakes, and Freon for the car, the electric bill, yardwork, and the vet’s bill for my beloved M’ow. I still have some left and could take a mini vacation if I stayed fairly local and drove my own car, but right now I still want to go back to the ocean and will just have to build it up again.
…I still have passion for my people and my projects, but now I’m not wanting to come in to the office, not wanting to answer phone calls or see people. Part of that is the illogic of the workplace - I already mentioned the budget issues, and now Finance won’t respond to the national park I just returned from for our reimbursement, something I mentioned with the billing officer’s contact information in my travel memo before I left, in an email last week after contact from the park that said all we need is an invoice and a W9, and had to address again when the park called this week because they still haven’t heard from our Financial Officer. I mentioned all that in a different email to the person over our Travel and said maybe Finance would listen to her. If not, I’ll just go to the Treasurer.
…I’m considered “exempt” and a salaried employee, but I’m treated as an hourly one. All of us are - we’re expected to be here 40 hours a week and yet we as directors don’t get overtime or even comp time. So far this hasn’t been a problem; if, say, I work eight hours on a Saturday, I’d just take a day off without using my annual leave. My supervisor doesn’t agree with the system here, but he wants me here 40 hours because that’s how we’re set up, although he said he has no problem with flex time. About a decade ago I contacted the EEOC about the law because I knew I didn’t fit the exempt criteria, and I sent a detailed memo about it to HR, but nothing was ever done. I remember reading that an employer who treats an exempt employee like an hourly one could lose some kind of status (remember, I’ve slept since then, and it was about 10 years ago). I’m thinking of looking into that again before there are any issues.
…I just want to get away from all that.
…But I’ve been in this particular position for 20 years and it’s just now starting to get to me. I just need a break.
…I’ve been thinking of retirement, and the thought soothes me, but I’m only (almost) 52 with projects still ongoing and ideas brewing about the growth of my department (now it’s all within reach). I’m also very gratified to hear, when I mention retirement even only in passing, “You can’t retire!” or “Don’t retire!” Sometimes I feel I’m working away in isolation and my work goes unrecognized, but then things like that happen or someone out of the blue thanks me for what I do. I’m grateful for that, and those kind sentiments carry me a long way.

That’s all, folks!