Lost Identity in meh...

Not as in identity theft. Anyone stupid enough to do that will hunt me down and slap the shit out of me. LOL

I had a dream last night that I went to my dad’s church. For some reason they were holding American Idol auditions and there were specified parking spaces for this. Well when I went to the church, there wasn’t anyone there, but people in church. As I was leaving I was seeing everyone lining up for American Idol and that’s when I saw the parking spaces. What I did not see was my car. I looked up and down the street. I looked all over the place and couldn’t find my car. I was so upset. I was walking down the street pushing the buttons on my remote and didn’t hear anything and I was so upset.

I called the police because I was proud that I knew what my license plate number was and that I had insurance so I wouldn’t get into trouble. I couldn’t remember if I had put the pedal lock on it. I remember being so bothered because the police weren’t taking me seriously and they were trying to make sure they were, I guess, working security for AmId. I also remember thinking about maybe it go towed. (I think that was a subconcious thought because when a car I had was repossessed while I was at work I had to inquire with someone to whom should I call to make sure my car was towed away instead of stolen.)

Then of course I woke up and grabbed my phone for dream interpretation.

“To dream that your car has been stolen indicates that you are being stripped of your identity. This may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation which has played a significant role in your identity and who you are as a person.”

This kind of makes sense because as I went to bed last night, I am facing empty nest syndrome. This is my son’s last year of high school. I’m getting older, my daughter is out of the house. Things are somewhat falling into place where I won’t have anyone to care for. Well not in the sense that my feelings are gone, but as in taking care of. When my mother first went into the nursing home I was faced with a weird type, co-dependant devastation because for most of my life, that was my identity: being my mother’s caregiver as much as I could be. But more than that I would miss her. She was my steady adult companionship when I got home. Even though it was all for the best, I didn’t want her to leave.

At any rate, I have been thinking about the inevitablity that I will be living on my own. An empty nester. I’ve been thinking about me and school, me developing a social life, changing careers after school. It’s just a lot going on. I’ve told my kids that as long as they could respect my house and abide by my rules, I really didn’t care how long they stayed with me. See how that went. One down, one we will see. lol

So yeah. That’s about it.
Tell someone you love them.

Kindest regards,
Sister