I Feel Cheated in meh...

There are many things I wish I could do over, but never really dwell on them. One of these things in particular is my son’s education.

He was diagnosed with a learning disability, but anytime problems arose, it was always to late to do something about it. I remember the long hours of homework. I work all day and have to punish us both by doing sitting there with him trying to help with his homework without doing it myself.

I am not a fan of No Child Left Behind because what that translates into is You’re Child Doesn’t Know Jack Shit But We Will Pass Him Anyway. I didn’t like that. It was at the end of 5th grade when some real steps were made with him, but even those were kind of half assed.

Those years in that particular school, he felt bullied by teachers and unliked by some students. It hurt me to see him struggle and I didn’t know how to help. I asked the school, but the services they offered never seemed to pan out. I was one of those parents who didn’t make enough money to afford to get him some good help that he needed but made too much money to get free services that he could benefit from. This has been my stuggle all my life with my kids. Things got so bad that one day, I think he was in the 3rd or 4th grade, he drew a picture of a knife with a few names on a list and he left the paper behind. Oh he got some attention then. He didn’t mean anything by it, he was just frustrated and sad. But my goodness. I got called into a meeting I had to take him home. He couldn’t come back to school until it was established that he was getting counseling. My son was out of school for a month. Bad part about it, he is brilliant. He is so intelligent. I admit when it comes to math we struggle. Yes I was poor in that subject. He didn’t like to write, he didn’t like to read though he could do and comprehend both. His writing, cursive and print is atrocious, but he does it. He’s left handed. Only left handed person in the family is his dad and he…well, let’s just say his involvment in his kids life in school kind of sucks.

At any rate…

His entire school career has been a let down. Part of it is because he’s lazy, I know, but a strong part of it is somethings he just doesn’t get. It hurts and makes me sad when I can’t get the type of help that he needs. This hurts him in the long run.

When it was time to move on to high school, the school he was supposed to go to apparently rejected him so he had to go to the local Hoodlum High in our precinct/district. Not a month into it, he was being picked on and he got into a fight with someone and broke his thumb punching the guy in the face. He was at this school for two years and despite the foolishness, he made great grades. My kid just isn’t like the other kids today. He said to me one day, “Mom, I don’t get it. Why do the guys act like they don’t like girls, but then talk about doing it to them all the time??” Wise observation. Then after we moved, he finished out his year and then I got him into the school his best friend attends. With the closing of this school, he is embarking on his 3rd high school. He doesn’t really care though. If one thing doesn’t seem to work out, he is always quick to move on. I guess that resilient nature is good but I need him to establish routine and stability. A main concern though is coming into a school that is specialized like this (STEM) and just being thrown into it, taking beginner courses and such. It throws you off.

My baby is going to be senior this year. I want him to do it all. Prom, senior pictures, dances. I was robbed of all that with my daughter. He already knows where he wants to go to college, but he wants to take some time off before he goes.

And thus begins my empty nest syndrome. I will not know what the hell to do with myself.

I guess I’ll finish school huh? LOL