Tuesday in New Diary

Another day is here. I am in good spirits. I was supposed to go to a doctor’s appointment today but somehow missed my ride. My case manager is going to make another appointment for me. It was supposed to be a follow up appointment from last week. As far as the depression is going I feel one hundred percent better. On a scale of one to ten I would rate the depression to a three. But I think I am still having problems in other areas.

Right now I think the biggest problem is that I do not want to leave my apartment. I really get anxious and nervous sitting outside the building. People in the apartment building I live in make me nervous. I don’t like to be around them. For that matter I don’t like to be around people period. I keep thinking people hate me and I can’t face them. I have good reason to think this way but that is a another story.

My anti social behavior as been a problem all of my life. I had problems getting along with people in high school My high school years were terrible. Think I had mental problems back then because that was when I first started seeing a therapist. When I was married I couldn’t get along with my in laws. My mother in law hated the site of me. Then when I was working I had a hard time getting along with the people/e I worked with. They were always pulling practical jokes on me and I went through a lot of harassment at work. The more I think about it the more I realize that it has caused some major issues in my life.

I don’t know. I learned that hard way that you have to be very careful about who you let into your life. The wrong person can mess you up really bad especially in the apartment building where I live. Only person I really trust with my life is my fiancé. I know she would never do anything to hurt me.

Anyways, I had a good night last night. I finished a chapter in my book about John Marshall Name of the book is John Marshall: Definer of a Nation by Jean Edward Smith. I am really enjoying reading this book again. I remember reading most of it a long time ago. I highly recommend it.

Life is good . Remember the blessings. 1) I am alive.2) I am in good physical health. 3) I have a nice apartment. 4) I have a wonderful fiancé. 5) I have food to eat and clothes to wear. 6 I have money for meds. 7) I have a new hearing aid. 8) I have phone, internet and cable tv) 9) I have interesting books to read. 10 I have a wonderful support system in Healthways. Life is pretty damned good. \