No Energy in The Past

I can’t believe it’s been two months since I last finished an entry here on Prosebox.

I say it that way because I have three “Drafts” going right now (mostly just writing bits and pieces that I wanted to get out but that I don’t have enough to post) as well as other notes that I want to turn into entries… but I can’t get enough energy to really do anything. The depression is coming and going in waves, and it seems like every time that it’s here, it’s harder than before to get out from under. -sigh- I’ll hopefully figure something out soon.

My therapist wants me to go out and meet new people and get to the point where I feel like I’m a part of something again… which I guess, is the opposite of what I’ve been doing here, where I’ve popped in and messed around with a thing or two and read a few of my favorites before hiding again. I’ve been using my energy and whatnot to try to do that… I’ve gotten together a crafting group now. We meet every other Saturday (this Saturday is our next meeting) and do crafting stuff all socially. There’s been two meetings so far, and it’s been less than stellar. The first one it was just me, Mom, Maili, and my friend Izzy, who I haven’t seen since high school. It was fun talking with her again, but Maili and Mom didn’t bring anything to really work on, and they ended up having naps… it’s just frustrating. The second event was better… Mom hung out with me for a bit and then went home, Maili was sick so she didn’t make it. We had two people show up who were parents of people from the dance class that happened at the same time, and two people from my meetup group. I had fun, but it really serves to highlight the f act that I don’t have anyone to talk to outside of work, and now that LeAnna has left the job, I don’t really have anyone here at work either to talk to. It’s eating me alive.

Hopefully Satuday’s get together will be better. My problem is (as I see it), that I don’t have enough energy to spend on going out and doing stuff, but the only way I can get said energy is by going out to do stuff. -sigh- It’s a Catch-22 if I’ve ever seen one.

I got a button making machine. I need to post pictures of all the buttons I’ve made so far, but I’ve been slow on that too… le sigh. I do have to say that I’ve done some amazing buttons, If I do say so myself. I have an order for 500 buttons to be made by Friday of next week, I’ll get most of that done this weekend. If I can get a good design set up and approved.

I also have some maile orders I need to work on as well as some maile stuff I need to get working on for stocking my booth. I just haven’t had any desire to do any of that. Mew. It’s been a rough time, but I’m going to get through it, I know I am.

I don’t know what I want to do tonight… I might contact Bob and see if he wants to go and do something – I don’t want to be at home with nothing to do tonight. -runs in circles- I do need to write some more though, I need to grab my notebook from next to my bed and read the notes I put in it from my last dream.

Last updated December 25, 2016