War Paint in Every day scata

Yet another doctors appointment, with the same answer that the other three have given me. But, this one is ordering another MRI of my spine, seeing that the last one was back in January before the injury occurred.

He also is ordering some heavy duty PT. This worries me because he doesn’t prescribe narcotics. Now, when I was getting what little PT I did before, I would be dying afterwards. Now I’m supposed to do it without meds. We’ll see about it. I’ll try. If the pain is bad, I’ll just truck my ass up to the ER. I am already in pain as it is… :sigh:

I know they think that it’s all in my head, that I shouldn’t have pain. And maybe it is in my head. Maybe I’m going crazy.

I am tempted (ok I probably will do this) to ask the two people that might have some weed if they can hook me up. If they won’t give me something for pain, the “just deal with it” mentality, I’ll just find another way.

The problem with ME thinking “I’ll just find another way” is the fact that if I can’t find anyone that can help me, I may start drinking again to stop the pain. I really really hate to say it, but what the fuck am I supposed to do? Shit. I hurt today after the car ride, and the exam. Grr

If I start drinking, I better start looking for another place to live, because I will NOT put Pam through my bullshit again. She deserves better than that.

I have another appointment with my PA tomorrow about my weight loss. I’ve lost about 14 pounds in a month. With my family history, this worries me. But it could just be stress.

After that appointment, I have to email the lawyer with everything that has happened the past few days. I’ve scanned the Drs. orders, charted my stuff for today… just gotta wait till tomorrow so I don’t bother the office too much.

But for now, I’m going to get another cup of coffee and smoke a cig.