15-07.30.123 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Sarcastic Huzzah. I’m back from all of my travels to discover that the apartment has a bug problem. Wife has little home-made bug traps everywhere but informed me that Fruit Flies and Cockroaches are coming up from the sink… despite bleach treatments and running the disposal… and cleaning. I’m a bit stumped… bug bomb in the sink?

This Saturday, my Destiny Raid group is getting together again. Hasn’t happened in a long time. And it led me to realize a few unfortunate things… some specific some general.
Outside of On-Line Communications like ProseBox and Facebook… I am a shitty friend. I haven’t seen, in person, any of my friends for a good two months or more. It’s worse than that.
Favorite Person in the World who just had a baby… haven’t even talked with them on the phone in years. I send a card on Birthday and Anniversary but… what is that?
Close Friend from Childhood… saw them after I took the bar last year, haven’t seen them since. They live out by my parents so… yeah, I could make time for them when I go out to visit but… in my head, it just seems like so much extra work to excuse myself from Parents, Grandfather and other family to go hang out with someone who may or may not be busy.
Bestest Best Friend… we both hate the phone… we now live 300 miles away.
Lawschool Brother… a guy who I respect and was seriously like a brother in a lot of respects… I don’t hear from him for months at a time… but I don’t call to check on him.... I don’t stay updated on his life… and I feel like that reflects poorly on me.

But really… yeah. IRL, I have 6 friends who don’t live in this state. In this state/city… I have one great friends and three acquaintance-friends… and even with them I’m not pulling my weight. After I studied for the bar… it just seemed that so many of those avenues were closed. Primarily… my acquaintance-friends were on the Trivia Team. I took a little over half a year off to study for the bar so, obviously I was replaced. And it wasn’t an insult or anything… a full team has a better chance of winning. But… with that avenue of interaction closed off… I’ve closed myself off. The team still hits up pubs and concerts and stuff like that but… I opt out every time. And my close friend who lives in the area? Yeah, he’s married and an Omaha Native so he’s busy most of the time… but if I called him to hang out, we’d make something work. But… I don’t because… I get stuck on “what would we do?” We can’t get together “the four of us” his wife, my wife and the two of us. Not because our wives don’t get along but because… his wife is constantly suggesting work for my wife. Work that pays more, has better benefits, and would get her out of Wal-Mart. And my wife says no. Every time. And continues to complain about Wal-Mart. And it bothers the hell out of me. I have a friend who cares about us and is trying to help… you shut her down and continue to focus on your stuff… and then tell me that getting out of wal-mart will fix everything? It blows my mind!

And that, inherently, is why I feel like a shitty friend. I don’t see the people I can, I don’t talk to the people that I can’t see. And it is no great mystery as to why. All of my friends (all 10 of them) are wonderful in their own way. But none of them (anymore) are the kind I feel like I can just grab a coffee with, commiserate about life and then go do something. Like… I just don’t feel like I have a friend IRL who I could break down with… or who could break down with me.

To that end I have been contemplating sending a bit of a message to my Omaha Friends to reconnect and just… try to reignite relationships… whether I am forced to stay here longer or not. But… as this is a fine resource… I wanted to work on it with feedback from others. Because… I don’t want to sound crazy, or needy, or strange… I just want to reconnect. Maybe I’m a bit too dramatic, lol.

TEXT: Hello, (name of friend)! I hope your summer is going well despite this weather. I just wanted to send you a line to see how you are doing and what you have been up to lately. I know I’ve been kind of a poor friend recently as I’ve been so wrapped up in my own job search and travels but through those travels, I’ve come to understand how important it was hanging out and being able to relax every once in a while. Hopefully, we’ll be able to meet up for something sometime soon! It would be nice to just hang out with friends again as it seems it has been a while since I’ve actually done that! Wishing you the best!!

So… that. That is what I’m thinking of sending to a few people. It seems… strange. I know I should be all cool just saying “Hey, I miss hanging out, how are you doing?” But… I’ve never been good at the whole friend thing. And I think I got to this thought because of that job interview. IF I got that job… I’d be living closer to the friends that I typically hang out with and do stuff with. SO many of my “hang out” friends are in Des Moines, 100 miles away. And… amongst the million reasons why I want this Dallas County job… being able to be around friends is certainly an important one.

Last updated July 30, 2015