Depression is back in New Diary

Well depression is back. I had a good day yesterday. Depression hit me this morning. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I laid on my couch until 8 this morning watching tv. I finally forced myself to get up but every thing in my being wanted me to just lie on my couch. But I managed to get a shower today.

I was thinking all night that they are going to force me to go into a mental hospital. Sometimes I think I need to be in one. I am not suicidal. If I was standing on a street corner and a truck came by I would not jump in front of the truck. But sometimes I think if I was in the middle of the street and a truck came barreling down I would not get out of the way. This is why I think I really need to be in the hospital.,

After all I am not leaving my apartment t. I am not taking care of myself. I am not taking care of my apartment. I’ve been severely depressed for the last two weeks now., I feel like a complete failure and a loser because I can’ or am unwilling to take care of myself. Jesus

Life sucks Never asked for this. All I ever wanted to do was have a normal life. But I don’t think I never drew a normal breath in my life I was always screwed up, even in high school. Made so many mistakes in my life. I made so many poor choices I never amounted to a hill of beans .

Well got to go get dressed and get ready for my appointment. Hope to God they don’t ship me off to a mental hospital.