well. but i'm *not* utilising them. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

also. from yesterday:

‘er wait. that sounds slightly objectional. that a word?

no but. ok so Hannah and I were getting together wkly. there for awhile. but that didn’t work. I felt like every time we got together she wasted my time by telling me things I already knew. and I think she felt the same way. so I told amber to tell Hannah I didn’t want to see her anymore.

and now other than the meetings or when amber randomly drops by I don’t like. talk to them. I don’t utilize them. and maybe amber’s frustrated cause i’m not. but when I was I wasn’t getting anywhere and it wasn’t working for me. so there really isn’t any point to doing it again. and since I have no interest in improving things between Hannah and I well. i’m not going to tell her this.

so maybe this is amber’s way of telling me she’s frustrated. is by not actually telling me that. not like I need her to tell me since clearly I’ve already figured it out. i’m jus saying. people aren’t good at feelings. ya know they’ll elude to how they’re feeling which is fine. or they’ll be like ‘this thing that happened made me happy’ or w/e it is not ‘i’m happybc this thing happened’.

I get amber’s frustrated. but i’m not going to go back to doing something that doesn’t work for me. that doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to do that. but now I feel like I should bc i’m being influenced by her. and this.

but I am utilizing my going out time. ‘