Pride. in Musings

The Gay Pride Parade in New York City is always, always a hot fucking mess.

There is nothing worse than a whole bunch of gay men and women strutting on the streets drunk and high as fuck.

It becomes a monumental moment to a cheap, stereo-typical disaster.

I ended up at a party where Caitlyn Jenner was. I did drink, but not as heavily or crazily as I would on a regular day. Caitlyn’s surprise appearance made me feel icky. All the gay-men flocked to her, pictures started flashing, I was being bum-rushed from all angles. I guess acceptance and visibility comes from exploitation. No one really cared that she is a person with a voice that hasn’t been visible, she’s become media’s clown—like transploitation (*I didn’t even know this was a concept, until I googled it just now).

None the less I was very un-amused by her appearance. She hasn’t earned her voice like all of the other worthy, notable trans icons. She’s a joke and a creation of the media, by the media—just like her trashy step-daughter who is only famous because she fucked another D-List celebrity on film.

As I began to walk away from where she was to the other end of the room, I also came to realize the way that men treat guys that look like me. The skinny, twinky, pretty Latino boy. I was literally groped by 5 people as I tried to go away from the center of the room.

Then it came to a halt when a big, gigantic, meat-head on some sort of drug stood in front of me and yanked me towards him. I felt his hot breath on my face and smelled his liquor breath as he ran my hand down his sweaty chest. I cringed and before I could rip my hand off of him, Alex grabbed him by his tank top and shoved him off.

I didn’t want any issues, or have Alex be kicked out of a pretty media covered party. Even less did I want our friends to be slammed on blogs or media once they realized that we were with them as guests at there VIP tables.

It continued to happen all day though. I feel like my balls and gooch are sore from being literally grabbed and rubbed. The last guy was so drunk and I remember him spewing something like “you like that shit don’t you twiggy?” I looked at him and just walked away quickly, before Alex even had a chance to realize what was going on.

This pride was one that I should have just stayed home for. I also wonder if that grab approach is at all effective with any guy…

I literally was surprised at myself when everyone was going out after the rooftop to other parties that I didn’t join them. Alex and I just took a train back to our apartment and we played strip connect four and taking shots of tequila. One win=1 clothing item + 1 Shot for the loser. A stalemate= 1 shot each.

I don’t really remember much of anything, except a glimpse of our tequila dicks and falling asleep in the worst position on our reclining chair.

I literally woke up with half of my body numb and the worst pain on my neck. I probably would have stayed asleep if I wasn’t so dehydrated.

I also do remember Alex getting super emo because he wants to start a family. I don’t want to have kids. I hate children and my loathing for them doesn’t seem to be getting any better, but just clearer that I really do not want to raise a child.

Children are a stress economically, socially and within a relationship. I’m too selfish to give up any of those three things in my life. Maybe after 30 I’ll rethink it, but right now children are no where in my future.