omygod i had a panic attack in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

this is from yesterday:

‘I had one. pretty recently. er prior totoday I mean. don’t remember when.

I think. it needed to happen. I’ve been needing to have one for a long time. I got them a lot in HS only I didn’t know what they were. and then I stopped getting them i’d just get anxiety attacks. and now they’re back. i’m pretty sure I have panic disorder but I don’t know.

i’m ok now. well from that. but when you’re having one. it’s really scary. I cried and just images went through my mind and I. uh. I went. places. ‘he’ was there. the guy..............the last...........the last SA guy. yeah it was terrible. and i’m thinking ‘please stop’ but then I thought ‘you know you can control this’.

earlier I was thinking about. ‘that’. and I was. ra-that. i’m not anymore. well that’s not exactly a great comfort when the effects [and i’m talkin ptsd here] are lasting.’