I shouldn't be surprised in A new beginnging.

My compuer got a virus a couple weeks back, and as much as I have wanted to write, I have been unable to. It is now in Mark’s care and hopefully he can fix it. until then I luckily found a bluetooth keyboard to sync up to my ipad.

There was so much good stuff I wanted to write about this past month.. a lot of new memories, a lot of conversations, a lot of new and exciting things to look forawrd to.
I feel like my computer crashing happened at t perfec time so I wouldn’t have to look back on the above great things.

I am going to try and keep this brief, which pretty much means I am going to be vague.
Friday night was when i had my birthday party. Tim told me over and over that he was coming.
We hadn’t seen eachother in a few weeks- he had winstock, then I had Rocl the Garden…the timing just wasn’t there for a couple weeks.
So Friday night everyone shows up, I knew not to expect Tim until about 9. So 915 rolls around and we are all having a good time. Abby says she texted Tim asking if he was still coming and his response was “I dunno…”
I felt it.
The air getting let out.
So fuck texting, I just called him. He kept trying to do the small talk BS and I cut right through it. “So are you on your way?” “No, I’m at home” “You’re not coming, are you?” “Sorry, no. If I left now i wouldn’t get there til super late.” (it would have been like 10 when he got there fyi)
I am speechless. “Are you mad? Is the party fun at least,? Are you drunk yet?” “My phone is cutting out, I gotta go.”
5 minutes later he texts me “You probably don’t like me anyore, huh…?”
Obviously that was his goal.
I am just like confused as hell.
So the night goes on, and I didn;t let the Tim thing ruin it. I had fun.
The next morning I was up in a fog, call my sister and tell her what happened. I decide that I am going to send him a ‘to the point-non bitchy text.;

“Hey…so pretty confused as to what happened last night. This have been prety weird since winstock but I was just tossing it up to the fact that we hadn’t seen eachother in a couple weeks. I mean, what happened last night? I haven’t done anything to deserve the ‘ditch out and never talk to her again’ scenerio and I would really hope that you would be able to tell me if you didn’t want to date anymore, if that’s what this is”

He read it at 11:45 AM and never responded. So last night I deleted his number and all of our texts from the last 4 months. I was totally blindsided. I guess I can’t believe how much I misjudged him. I just don’t get it or know what happened-and it looks like I never will.
The kicker is that we were all supposed to go camping over the 4th and I was going to meet his parents (his idea).

so of course my girl instinct is telling me that he must have met someone at winstock and kept stringing me along for the next week until he figured things out. That’s honestly the only things that makes sense. But have the decency to tell me. Don’t act like a coward and blow me off and never talk to me again-

Guess it was to good to be true.