Worries, issues, and fears (rant) in A Day in the Life of Me

I have a feeling things are going to get worse long before they get better. I feel like I am becoming a different person again and its not a good thing.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but I am about to rant my ass off

He has nothing to complain about.
Nothing.
He has food, shelter, and the ability to day in, day out, enjoy his friends and hobbies. Minus the motorbike, because I couldn’t afford it, and i told our friend M who was going to “loan” him the money no. We will owe her way to much by the time the lawyers are done with the paperwork.
Yet he dares, on a regular basis to whine and complain and say he’s suffering with depression.
Now, I am personally well aware that everyone has different symptoms of depression, don’t get me wrong. I know because I have been suffering, depression for years. not enough to be on meds, though my doc considered it once, but she did want me in counselling, i just couldn’t/can’t afford it..
I work to pay bills and feed 2 people and a cat. I don’t have a spare cent left over.
If i have enough to get myself tea on my way to work between pay days, its a good 2 weeks. I used to drink Tims, but now i have switched to macds, not only cause its cheaper, but also because i usually fill and use at least 1 if not 2 coffee cards by the end of the two week period.
I don’t get to go out. I don’t get to shop, unless its groceries. I don’t usually get to hang out with people unless its M and G and usually that’s only cause its last min and she kinda badgers and makes me feel bad if I say no. which I hate.
and he says he’s the depressed one.

I haven’t had a girls night for 2 years.
I can’t buy half the things I would like to because I don’t have enough left over after bills, and those I usually scrimp on so i can give a little to this one and a little to that one so they see i am paying because I don’t have enough to pay in full on all of them.
I am just finishing off the last end of a 14 day week stretch. I need a second job, but I don’t have the time or energy to get one.

I get jealous to when I see ppl on FB or Instagram, out doing things that I would have loved to do, but no one messages or calls, because well I can never go because I have no time or money to do it.
I think I need to take a break from social media because of it. I wish some times I could take a break from life.
I wish I could just get a break.
/sigh