Saturday Morning in New Diary

Depression got the better of me yesterday. I don’t know why I get depressed for no reason. Sometimes a feeling over sadness just creeps over me. I felt depressed all morning. Fiancé came up and she always makes me feel better. I would not know what to do without her .

I started reading a new book America’s Constitution a Biography by Akhil Reed Amar. I am still on the first chapter . The author is talking about the framers of the constitution and its ratification. Amar was saying that the whole process of ratification was very democratic. The states held special elections to elect delegates to special conventions. In these special elections many states did away with property restrictions and held universal manhood suffrage. Property restrictions for delegates were lowered as well. The author was saying that this was the first time in history that a constitution was ratified by the people of a country This is an interesting chapter.

Like I said I suffer from depression. Whenever I get depressed I always think of the good things I have in my life 1 I have a wonderful fiancé. 2 I have a place to live 3 I have money for food and meds. 3 I have clothes to wear 4 I have phone, tv and Internet 5 I have a NOOK. 6 I am in fairly good health. I can think of six good things in my life. When I make a list like this life doesn’t seem so bad after all. In fact life is pretty good.

Despite all of this I still suffer from depression. I am on meds for it and I see a therapist . I look back on my life and I think I was always depressed. Hell I think I had depression in high school. I think I was fifteen or sixteen when I first started seeing a therapist . At different times of my life I tried committing suicide. I had a very bad psychotic breakdown when I was in my 40s Yes, depression has been with me all of my life .

Life is good now. Life is always good