What the actual fuck. in Chunky giblets

WARNING! This entry contains crude sexual language. if you get offended by terminology such as fuck, cunt, asshole, rusty trombone, dirty sanchez, gaping hole, fanny-fart, baby-batter, crusty minge, throbbing gristle, erectile dysfunction, anal fissure, or midgets, then you might want to stop reading, you sick fuck.

So! Lisa turned out to be a complete fucking psychopath. About an hour after we screwed for the fourth time, she started going crazy at me, scratching the fuck out of my face and beating the shit out of my head. I’m not entirely sure, but the fact that she downed a bottle of vodka (that I bought, by the way) might have had something to do with it. Whatever, she threw me naked out of her flat, threw my still-wet-from-the-washing-machine clothes out the Goddamn window, and the whole fucking debacle has left me absolutely despising women in general and her in particular.

Nah, kidding, I still love chicks. But I think my next lay might not be a big psychotic black chick. Just saying.

Apart from that, I guess I’m doing okay. The tablet appears to be utterly screwed. Not taking a charge whatsoever. I’ve got it plugged into the computer, and the light is on, but nothing else. I actually opened the fucker up and had a look at the insides, to see if I could discern what kind of fault there is. Nada. Looks perfectly fine, all the bits and pieces appear to be in good working order. I still haevn’t hooked it up to a wall charger since the night my last one broke, so it could just be that the tablet absolutely hates charging via a PC, but to be honest it’s not looking good. I’ll try and get my hands on a new charger befoer I throw it out completely, but there it is - I need a netbook, laptop or tablet. At the very least I need a new MP3 player, because lief without music makes Taydolf a complete psychopath.

Blurgh. Where am I? I’m in Hampshire, in a total fucking dullard town called Havant. Which is like Havana except without the class, cigars or smoking hot chicks.

Although.... Hmm. We’ll see. Yeah, that’s right, even after the last woman I connected with turned out to be the black Aileen Fucking Wuornos, I’m still a thirty-something over-horny pussy hound.

I will never learn.

Well, that’s about it for this week’s thrilling installment of My Life Is A Huge Fucking Mess.