In My Life in Packrat

…My sweet little cat died on Friday. I had hope til the end because she kept doing things healthy cats do - grooming herself, running around the house, jumping on the furniture, eating solid food, wanting cat treats. I had been treating her with oils and saw improvement; for instance, she had a bony growth on her shoulder bone that initially caused a slight limp and hesitation before she jumped down, but after I started the treatment she stretched her leg to bathe and ran without a limp. The growths on her stomach grew into one big one, which then started to recede slightly and dry up.

So I had hope. But I had to guess at how much oil to use and how often, and by the time I found out she had cancer it had already spread throughout her body. She was 12 years old. Maybe if I started when I found out (I looked for help immediately but initially found nothing, but I kept looking) or if she had been younger… It gave her a quality of life in her last days, though, until the last one. She had eaten solid food on Wednesday; I gave her milk with a dropper on Thursday and a vitamin gel, but Friday she couldn’t take it. Thursday night she had still been jumping around and was present; Friday she hurt when she changed position and died in her sleep.

She was the foster mother to kittens taken in, and one of them, my bottle baby, knew. He never hides behind the furniture, and while he lets me hold him, he has a time limit, but this time he hid til I held him and we grieved together. He climbed into my lap this morning, too; we need each other. I haven’t stopped crying. I wouldn’t have her stay in that condition and am thankful she had good days til the end. I knew I’d have to take her in to be put down but she saved me from that; while I’ve had to put beloved animals down before, and I believe if you love them you have to if they’re suffering, I couldn’t stand the thought of actually doing it.

…Nerd alert. I like Star Wars. Sistah and I went to the city to see Mr. Smith, recently relocated to our state; we saw Jurassic World, went to dinner, heard him sing. The previews included the trailer for the new Star Wars movie, which we all agreed we’ll have to see together. Sistah suggested we dress up as our favorite character. I’m not into it THAT much. I told her my favorite character is Chewy, but if I went dressed as him at my height people would think I’m an Ewok.

…Free Spirit is coming in August. I may not get to see him; I already have travel plans for a consultation in Illinois. He didn’t say, but I’m sure he didn’t apply for the job here.

…The media blitz around the Very Important Case ticks me off. The professional public relations group is actually doing a good job, but I feel others have their own agendas, and I don’t want to hear it. I feel the core reason for this case is being forgotten. S agreed that it’s now getting political, which it never should have been. It’s not my call to tell them to go their merry way, but I did my part where it matters, for the court.

…The newly crowned Miss Indian World is from my tribe. I keep saying my little niece is going to pow wows and will be a princess; my brother says she’s not. I told him she has to go if she’s going to be Miss Indian World.

…RIP to my sweet little girl. I miss you terribly.