"BOTH SIDES OF EVERY STORY" in "WRITER@WORK"

Sometimes it takes two to tango. There are things that you just can’t do alone, no matter how good – and that we all know. That’s why we have a pair of arms, hands, and legs. Hold things firmly with both hands so they don’t easily break or fall. Stand straight and tall.
There are both sides of every story and that’s nothing new. What’s mine? What’s yours? Bet each would be different. How many of us who don’t get easily trapped in a “who’s right and wrong” argument, without providing a solution? That’s always a good question.
We all grow up differently. We all have choices as well. We’re responsible for the choices that we make.
They say first impressions often last. I suppose it is true. When we see someone for the very first time, we tend to silently scrutinise or even judge them based on what we see and how we perceive.
After that, it’s our choice to believe. Even before really getting to know them, we’ve already – subconsciously – built our personal opinions based on our (often too quick) assumptions. That’s human nature. Our (biased?) opinions can grow stronger if our quick assumptions are supported by case examples. Sometimes they’re helpful, valuable pointers. Sometimes they’re just…well, (not-so-related) case examples.
Of course, familiarity is comforting. It gives us a sense of knowledge. (After all, knowledge is power.) If it’s a pattern that we’ve already recognised, then there should be no other surprises.
With all of that, we often forget to consider alternate possibilities. Like, getting the facts straight (especially if you’re really that curious with someone else’s personal business!) Asking questions first. Expressing concerns openly before making such quick assumptions and harsh judgments, then spreading nasty words behind that person’s back.
Having a proper, mature and civil dialogue. Exchanging points of view through a discussion. Building a bridge, making a connection.
Until at last, hopefully – working on a win-win solution. Returning the calm after the storm. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work.
But of course, there are other factors that hinder or abort the process altogether. Prejudice. Fear of the unknown. A sense of paranoia that their sense of stability, their foundation in life be forever disrupted. The death of their status quo. The chaos that overcomes the order.
It’s understandable, though. Some lines have to be drawn at some point. Something’s got to give. However, they’re not always ready for even the most sensible argument. They’re not up for a possible confrontation. Why waste their time, energy, and feelings for that – especially when they’ve already made up their mind?
This is why the back door seems to be the favourite of many. They can all smile to your face like nothing’s wrong as they stab you in the back. You don’t know who’s put the knife there. You don’t even want to. What for? Is it even worth it?
Well, even if you’ve made a mistake, why not say that to your face?
However, getting angry is useless. It’s always up to God. People make mistakes, even those who believe that they never will – or that they’re way too good for that. As difficult and impossible as this sounds, forgiveness is the key. Pray for forgiveness if you happen to have made a mistake, no matter how innocent it seems. Forgive the misunderstood and the stubborn. Pray for peace among us.
Sometimes you have no choice but to accept the misfortune as a trial in life. Who knows? Perhaps you’ve been tried with patience. It’s not easy. You can only move forward and see how it goes. Do your best and pray that God will help you with the rest. You’re weak and helpless. You’re bound to make mistakes. All you can do is ask for His Guidance.
Sometimes things don’t always turn out the way you want them to. Some people choose to believe what they like. Forget about the burned bridges; there never was the connection in the first place. Familiarity and case examples are their only answers and what they (choose to) know best. They don’t want to know more. They don’t feel the need to anyway.
You can’t change them. You don’t need to. Work your way to find a solution, while wholeheartedly accepting this sad, simple fact:
Not everybody would like to hear both sides of a story.

R.