Integrating in Side Effects

Chelsea started in a new school for 3rd grade this year. We decided to make the switch to public school. It wasn’t easy, and so many factors were involved. But in the end, we’re happy with the choice. Chelsea has pretty much integrated, is standing up more for herself (she HAS to in a class of 40 kids!)

As for me, I’m always in a hurry, as soon as I pick her up, I’m out the door to get back home so we can all have lunch together. Adrian is usually home in time to stop by and pick me up so we can go pick her up together. But lately he’s stuck at work so I strap Hilda on me with a rebozo, we walk half hour to Chelsea’s school, and then drag ourselves back another half hour with Chelsea :)

So I haven’t mingled with the moms. Yes, I see most of them have known each other since first grade. Sometimes I’ll run into one on the street and upon recognizing them I smile or wave, and don’t get a response. The insecurities in me make me feel like I’M the one in 3rd grade.

Last month the school threw a party for Mother’s day. I learned they do this every year.....nice. I went thinking it would be a casual situation, a quick cheap lunch and a flower. We were seated with other mom’s from our child’s classroom. They were all dressed up, make up and everything. And me? Well, ME. As they all chatted I felt like I was in high school ALL.OVER.AGAIN. At my age, I wonder why I still feel that way, so insecure, or why I let it bother me.

It was in a fancy banquet hall, with a nice meal, and live music. Music. Shit, this meant dancing. I don’t dance. They all got up to dance. So what did I do? First off, I ate everything on my plate and they didn’t. Why do women starve themselves? I felt like asking them to give me their food. They must have thought I was a hungry puppy. I didn’t dare eat off the plates they left. But I did dare to start downing the alcohol. Come on, ME. So, once I was a little drunk I was able to converse more. Fun moms. One or two, are bullies. Yes, I said it. One of them, her daughter kicks everyones ass at school. Now I see why, the mother is arrogant and self centered. NO wonder her daughter does whatever the hell she wants. The other one, I feel, is the leader of the clique. But I actually permitted myself to have a good time. Mom and Adrian were taking care of the girls, but by 10 p.m. and after drinking for 8 hours, this little puppy HAD to go home. Adrian picked me up, and took me home and I made new friends.

Said friends invited me out Saturday. Adrian was busy, supporting a political campaign for Sunday’s elections. So I left the girls with my mother in law. Geronima, mother of Daniela, invited us over to her house, which is walking distance from my in laws. I ran to the grocery store to arrange a cold cut platter and walked to her house. It was just 5 of us. But you know what? I had a good time. Food, drinks, music, mom talk, teacher talk. Nice, hard working moms that like to have fun. Hey, that’s me!!! The bullies didn’t go so this is why I think I pulled of being the funny girl.

Our ages. Geesh, the youngest is 28. Two were 30 years old, myself 34, another 35, and Geronima is the oldest at about 38. It’s strange for me to pronounce 34. 34. 34. 34. 34. When I started my diary back on OD, I was 18.

WHERE OH WHERE HAVE THE YEARS GONE?