Zombeaver Bear in Boredoms

Let’s get this out of the way: yes I did watch Zombeavers on Netflix the other day. And I made someone else watch it with me. I had to, it looked so terrible. It actually wasn’t bad in it’s own way. And it surprised us by having the character we pegged for dying first make it to the end so that’s always fun. It also brought about an unexpected discussion on oral sex, specifically guys being unwilling to go down on women which my friend told me was a pretty common sentiment. Really guys? Really? I don’t know if this was a case of her having very bad luck with partners being douchey or if it is as common as she says it is (guys are pretty shitty so I’d believe it) but more than anything I find the reasons for it stupid. According to her some guys just think it’s too messy (SERIOUSLY?! Sex is messy! Get the fuck over it and please your fucking girlfriend) and more often than not guys complain about taste. I get that. After all, penises taste like strawberries so we’re pretty lucky there.

I’ve heard a guy complain about that once and it pissed me off. The reason it pissed me was because, at the very time he was talking about how awful the taste is, he was drinking a Bud Lite. I wanted to say something to the effect of: “Hey, let me ask you something…when you first drank Bud Lite, which you clearly love to now, was it the best tasting thing you ever drank? No. Not it wasn’t because Budweiser tastes like fucking ass. I’ve never even tasted ass but I bet I would like it more than Budweiser. But you suppressed the screams of agony from your taste buds and drank that shit until they just gave up and shut down and you mistook that for you now enjoying it. And you did that because you wanted your friends to think you were a man for drinking beer. So, you did all that to impress your friends but you won’t devote any effort to pleasing your girlfriend? You just don’t deserve one, guy.” I really should have said that. Guys upset me.

I watched 2 minutes worth of The Sound of Music at work today. I was standing around waiting for a manager so I figured why not? I’ve never seen it. The manager got to me before I could see much of anything. I never got to find out what the hills were alive with the sound of…Roxy said “bees”. I don’t really know much about bees or the areas they populate but it’s safe to say that if those hills have flowers they probably have bees.