A Force of Nature. My mom is dying. in Entries of Great Significance

And sometimes the inspiration comes from every curve of your lips, and those delightful hips, that hold me in sway..

“A Force of Nature”

I feel your heat
I sense the beat
Of your lollipop-style life
And I want nothing more
Than at the very start
And the very end
Of each forlorn day
To grace you
Embrace you
Hold you
And somehow..
Somehow know you

I long for that
The willows are so sweeping
The moss hanging
Tainting
And engaging my mind
As you have from the very first word
We ever exchanged

Talk to me, sweetheart
Tell me of your ways
How you so quietly have held me
And felt me
And I’m close to – melt me
With your soft, measured voice
Those royal blue eyes and
Parchment paper skin
The streaks of sunlit hair
And the absolute treasure
That is my pleasure
To understand you
In small, simple ways

How do you exist in the moonlight?
Because a force of nature such as
The very depth of you, has
Touched me in ways
And for every single day
Since our paths crossed
And you became more than a thing
More than words
More than ways
More than anyone else
I have ever tasted

You are enriching
You are endearing
You are disappearing
And constantly appearing
In my thoughts
In my head

I am contemplating
And trying
So desperately
Enunciating
Your every elegance
Your thoughtful heart
Your bleeding romance

I walk along in a valley
Full of treasures that anywhere else
They do not exist!

And here I am,
Finding my way to your gate
And I am knocking
And restocking
My thoughts and feelings
While you so easily
Are unlocking
And un-cocking

Every weapon that
Exists in my arsenal
All the weapons I bring

Oh, you are terrifying
In the greatest sense
You are electrifying
Every movement I bend

And I am burning
You are a force of nature
And I am turning
But cannot escape
The melody of your heart
And the sonnet of your place
In this lustful
Words-are-free
Easy come and quicker go
Kinda life

Brian Milici
May 29, 2015

I wrote this in a haze. Life is terrible right now. I’m not ready to lose my mom.

Not not not ready.

Get out of my mind. Must get out of my mind. Must.

I hate my brain.

She is the strongest person I have ever known, and I’m just. Not okay.

My older brother better fucking come visit her. Tonight.

I’m just done. Just so done.

Hold on, mom. You told me how to survive over 20 surgeries, and I did, and you’re still stronger than me. Just hold on.

I’m holding on!!!!