Days of Our Lives in Thoughts On...

I started watching Days of Our Lives again a few weeks ago and I have some thoughts on it.

Lucas/Adrienne
In a word: Gross. It isn’t the older woman/younger man thing. I am not bothered by that. It could be that their sons are married to each other and that is a little too close for comfort. It could also be that I find them both really unattractive and bumping uglies takes on a whole new meaning.

Eric/Serena/Xander
First, I had/have issues with Eric coming back as a priest, which I know he is now no longer a priest, because well that never could have lasted. Second, I don’t know why they had to bring on two new characters. He could have hooked up with a whole slew of skanks on this show. Plus, Melissa Archer is an over-acting bad actress. So bad. So very bad. And Xander? Where the actual fuck did he come from? He, Daniel & Brady all grew up together & played on the beach together? Really? Because their ages don’t seem to add up. Just, ugh.

Kate’s blue hair streak
I saw it a few years ago and was all, “she is way too old for that shit”. I thought it was gone, but it is still there. I don’t get it. Not to mention all the highlights she has going on, it is one giant eagles nest of shit.

Theresa
I think she could be interesting if I just didn’t feel she was a drop in character that they had to tie to someone so they made her Kim & Shane’s daughter “Jeanie”. Plus I am not one who is overly fond of manipulators. Plus this storyline of her being drugged & her fetus being taken & implanted in Kristin is so funny that it harkens back to when All My Children changed history and Erica Kane didn’t really have the first televised abortion, her fetus was transplanted into the doctor’s wife because shit like that really can happen! I get that they are paying actors a lot of money and that is why when the get rid of a long-time fan-favorite they are able to replace them with the bottom of the barrel acting school drop outs, but for fuck’s sake can they not consult Wikipedia to find out if this shit can actually happen?

Eve/Paige/JJ/Jennifer
Worst recast of a character ever. I know things fell through with Charlotte Ross and they were looking for a soap opera “name” to fill those shoes, but anyone would have been better than Kassie DePaiva. She was fine as Blair on One Life To Live, but as Eve? No. First, Eve did not have that twangy accent thing going on, second she was shorter. Did they even bother to develop the character a little bit? No. They made her a singer because DePaiva is a “singer”, but then they needed to keep her in Salem and since there really isn’t a music market in Salem, they gave her surgery and now she can’t sing. So how is she paying rent and for all those hooker clothes she is wearing? Is she turning tricks again? Can I expect to see Nick the Pimp soon? And when did she have a kid? And what is her relationship to Jack and his book? I admit I came late to the game so I don’t know how they explained all that, but when did she and Jennifer run in the same circle? Was it Emilio? Did they battle over him back in the day?

And JJ was aged pretty fucking fast. Ciera is still somewhat age appropriate, but I am sick and tired of little asshole brats on soaps (see Spencer on General Hospital). But now JJ is sleeping with his mom’s arch enemy & her daughter. Seriously, Days, plant a new family tree in this town.

Brady/Black & Blue
Good to see that being in a coma didn’t stop John Black from being constipated. He always has this look of constipation on his face, like he isn’t sure if a fart or a log is coming. It makes me eww & laugh at the same time.

Will is fucking annoying. I don’t care that he is gay, I don’t care that he had sex with a girl & was able to get off enough to make a baby with her. I don’t care that he is a “writer” and married to a Kiriakis. I do care that he is a fucking pussy. He is a whiner to no end and all I want is for someone to actually throw him off a cliff. Then he can come back as an amnesiac who isn’t a pussy.

And Paul? Really Paul is John’s son? He had an affair with an Asian woman when he was a “priest” and she kept it a secret and didn’t tell him because that is what good Catholic’s do? And is she still one with the church? Because according to the Catholics, gay is not okay. I just have no words for that storyline.

The Rest
So Maggie & Victor are married and she has a son, Daniel and a granddaughter Melanie because her story was boring and once Alice & Mickey were gone there was nothing for her to do other than become the town drunk, drive & kill some kid, but that storyline has already been played out. So now she is everyone in Salem’s AA sponsor. She shows up for every party in town with her big flaming red hair & botoxed face. Thankfully we don’t have to see sex scenes between her and Victor because after watching Lucas & Adrienne role around in a hotel bed today was gross enough.

Nicole is still Nicole. I don’t really know what her job is now, but apparently she works for herself. From what I am gathering she might be a private dick or an escort, not really sure. Maybe her and Eve could open up their own business together.

The DiMeras are still around and when they lose one, they replace them with six new ones and then the “dead” ones somehow miraculously return and history repeats itself.

The Park
Why are there so many scenes in this one clearing in this one park? And do they travel with it? Because the park that John & his gay son were in in San Francisco (subtle) was the exact same park that everyone in Salem goes to talk to themselves in or have those not-so-private conversations in.

And those are my thoughts on Days of Our Lives