"ALL MY LOVE EVER DID TO ME..." in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

All my love ever did to me
Not all they could see
They thought I was lucky
and our relationship was lovely

All my love did to me
The bruises and scars I wouldn’t let them see
They still looked at me with envy
as I tried staying strong as I could be

All my love did to me
including saying sorry
telling me: “I love you, baby.
Please forgive me, but don’t make me angry!”

All my love did to me
was making me feel less worthy
It was getting harder to avoid his fury,
but I forgot how to set myself free

All my love did to me
God, why did I still call him that?
“My love” - as if it were not a debatable fact
as if I could never step back

I may not have lived long enough to tell
that our relationship had been a living hell
but I believe justice will serve him well
Then the whole world shall see
everything my love ever really did to me…

R.
(Jakarta, 27/5/2015 – 2:00 pm, for S.G. – and other souls suffering in silence…)