A weekend to ourselves! in Side Effects

It is hard to admit, but it hasn’t all been fun and games. Way back when Adrian and I first moved in together, an ex sentimental and I were still communicating because he claimed he was having problems with his wife and needed advice and someone to talk to. I bought into this and kept up with our communication, which was exactly what Adrian asked me no to do: keep in touch with him. To me it was harmless because, hey, he NEEDED help, had NO ONE else to talk to. This is not something I like to talk about, it has been very straining and almost the end of my relationship with Adrian, the reason he has trust issues with me, and the root and cause of 99% of our arguments. To make the long story short, this person, who I’ll call Mr. L, I don’t think ever really wanted to “talk” or work anything out with the wife he was separated from. He just wanted to have me as a back up, just wanted to get me into trouble with Adrian. He is a miserable person, and wants everyone around himi to be miserable. Fuck him. Fuck hiim because he took advantage of my good will.

So lots of nights, Adrian and I are up arguing, over any little thing. Anything I do wrong, if food isn’t ready on time, or he didn’t like lunch, or there are toys on the floor, clutter in the fridge, it all comes down to him feelings, if I don’t put time and effort into our home, its because my thoughts are elsewhere. To me this isn’t fair, because it is not true.

We have been living together for almost 2 years. And the weekends are for him and friends. I feel lonely at home, feel like he doesn’t want to be around us. Like he can’t stand being around me. Yeah, sometimes he spends all weekend with us, but its always with the kids. We never get any alone time.

We had a long talk this past week, and I’m trying real hard to get his trust back. But I did all I could do. Twice Mr. L has tried to get in touch with me, via e-mail and via a fake facebook account. Both times I immediately showed Adrian that I wasn’t the one initiating contact. Both times Adrian thanked me for being honest. It’s all I can do, the rest is up to him.

But this weekend, we had a good time. A really really good time. Friday was teacher appreciation day here in Mexico, and the union that my father in law and Adrian belong to threw a lunch for all of the University teachers, active and retired. I dressed up Chelsea and Hilda, and myself. I wear makeup all of maybe once a year, so Adrian was amused I fixed myself up.

Nice lunch with Adrian and the girls, my inlaws, my sister in law and her daughter. My father in law and I? Beer, thank you very much. My father in law is awesome. My neice (Zenyacen) and Chelsea played with Hilda and fed her. Hilda was happy getting all their attention. Of course I ended up finishing my plate, Chelsea’s, and Ena’s. Somehow I always end up eating everyone’s food.

Me and the girls came home early and Adrian and his dad partied the rest of the night. He left us money for pizza, which, the girls always enjoy. Nights alone with the girls are fun and laidback. He didn’t come home until 4 in the morning, pretty drunk might I add.

Saturday morning after Chelsea got back form catechism, we went to a local stand to eat some shrimp ceviche tostadas. Two old ladies who curse a lot run the stand. Very good, very clean, fresh, excellent taste It’s a block away from the house so we’re definitely going back!

After that, we went to a birthday party. His cousin Citlali turned 26, and she made lunch for the family. That was pretty fun. He has this one cousin, Karla, she’s a riot. Loud, funny, gorgeous, and nice. She has a daughter, Frida, 2 months older than Hilda. I LOVED watching them run around together. Up until a few months ago, Frida was walking and Hilda wasn’t, so they didn’t really play. Now, they hit it off. And she just had another baby, 2 months old, who of course I just had to hold for about an hour. Adrian bought us drinks, she teased everyone at the party. She’s so funny. And she sang. She has a karaoke machine, obviously, to satisfy her need to sing all day, every day. We had a lot of good laughs.

I went home with my mother in law because she left her mom home alone, and Adrian and my father stayed at the party a little longer. Hilda and I laid in bed with his grandmother and fell straight asleep. Adrian picked us up at around 9, and on our way home, proposed we leave the girls with my parents to go out. Yes!!!

The once poshy quiet residential neighborhood parents and us live in, has now become the town bar. Row by row, bars, restaurants, small businesses. Once there was no traffic, no cars. Now, these businesses don’t have parking lots and so all the cars park all over the place, even right outside your garage, blockingi you completely.

But Saturday night, we used that to our advantage. Parked the car at mom’s and walked to a bar, Bicho’s. It was the bar where we hit it off, where we exchanged phone numbers, 3 years ago. It brings me good memories. Live music. Good music. All the kids in there that night should know that the music that they were enjoying, was from our time, when the music was still trascendental. We had a good time. Once we were feeling buzzed, we left and crossed the street to another bar, La Picanteria.

Honestly, we went to this last bar to follow his brother in law, Mosler. Adrian never liked Mosler and he suspects he’s cheaing on his sister. His truck was parked outside all night, but Mosler wasn’t there. He had a beer, and we waited a half an hour, but although the truck was there, Mosler was nowhere to be seen. We walked home, picked up the girls who, at 1:30 a.m. were still awake with mom.

Yesterday, Sunday morning, Adrian was totally passed out. 2 days drinking in a row took a toll on him. Chelsea’s big brother Edie came to pick her up because her dad gets visitation rights on Sundays (I’m filing for full custody but that is practically impossible. The judicial system in Mexico sucks). Adrian probably woke up around 2. Instead of going to the inlaws like we ALWAYS do on Sundays, we went to a bar called Mambe for some drinks and ceviche. Excellent. From there, we went to try a new restauarant, which wasn’t so great, but at least we got out.

We were home “just in time” for Chelsea’s brother to bring her back....Supposedly her father had surgery 2 months ago due to a tumor in his leg. He provided this evidence to court to defend the fact that he has not paid me child support the past 2 months. If it is true he had a tumor, I am sorry. But since he is an irresponsable jackass who for the past 4 years has tried to cop his way out of child support, or pay the very least ammount possible, I don’t believe anything.

He is capable of putting his family in debt to operate a cyst in his leg and stay in bed for 2 to 3 months just to get out of child support. That’s just who he is. He pays me $20 pesos a day, which is A THIRD of what the law states is a fair pension for a minor. But since he has no stable income, they can’t deduct the $60 pesos law requires. So instead, he works odd jobs, or drives a taxi, and claims he hasn’t made enough, and gives me, like I said, $20 fucking pesos a day. That’s lunch money for Chelsea, it doesn’t cover all her needs.

So during these 2 months, her big brother comes on a bus to pick her up and bring her back every sunday. It pisses me off because, he always brigns her back later, around 8. 1) It’s dangerous for BOTH of them to be out that late. Kidnappings are on the rise in Mexico. 2) The legal agreement says 7 o’clock. 3) Its a hassle to wind her down from these visits. 7 to 9 is a good time to calm her down, get her backpackand uniform ready for school, and put her down to bed. But 8 o’clock? It moves everything for me. I couldn’t get her down until 11 because she was all riled up.

But, at least she was home safe. Hilda chased her around all night until I finally turned the lights out, so they had no other choice but to sleep. Honestly, I think I was the first of the 3 to fall asleep.

And that, was our weekend.