Then We Go To The Forest... in Chapter 7 : To Qualify As A Phoenix...

So…

Where the fuck do I even begin???

Let’s start with Bub. My beautiful boy. You realise he’s nearly 3? 3!! I don’t feel ready to have a 3-year-old. I’m not ready to accept that he’s no longer an actual baby. He no longer looks like a baby, he looks like a little boy. He got our 1st place choice for the nursery. He will start the week after his birthday, before I know it, he’ll be at primary school. To hear him talk you would assume he was older, to look at him you would think he was younger. He has developed the stammer that is possessed by all with our surname. I finally discussed his behaviour with the HV again, and she admitted that we are rapidly approaching the point where his behaviours will cease being “normal toddler behaviour” and will start to become “indicative of a problem.” She says she doesn’t want to put a label on him but like I said to her, IF it is a problem then we really need that “label” in order to secure him the help that he may require at school. I’m willing to lose P1 in order to sort out assistance and such, as he’s pretty much ready for it already, but I am not prepared to lose any more than that. She feels that if his behaviours (social and obsessive) continue in the nursery environment plus the stammer, then he should be a shoe-in for early interventions to assess him for ADHD. Currently, he ticks ALL the boxes for it for his age group. I pray that he continues his “weirdness” at the nursery.

Pidge is doing....meh. She’s not as good as she should be. She’s reacted to milk, soya and eggs through my breastmilk. She’s much more sensitive than her brother was, but may prove to be just as allergic. Joy. They would like us to try and hold off weaning, but this is a baby who at 3 months is taking around 3oz from the breast plus a 4oz bottle of Neocate every TWO hours. She’s also now on Omeprazole for her Reflux, yet she’s still hungry and still Refluxy. I fear that at 17 weeks she’ll be getting baby porridge of an afternoon, as she is SO hungry that I feel that other than lining her with cement, we’re never going to fill her. She has the same allergy team as her brother, which is good, and they’re going to do her bloods in August to do RAST testing, which I am DREADING. I will plead for SPT first though. I could cry just thinking about it. Part of me would like to leave her with the doctors and nurses and not be present, because I know how horrendous it will be after having gone through it with Bub, but I just can’t not be there. I’m her Mama, I simply MUST be there…although I may be in tears myself for putting her through it. Like I tell her brother, “If Mama’s here, then it’s going to be ok.” Fuck you allergies, seriously, fuck you.
She’s still not hit 10lb at 13 weeks. She didn’t gain any weight through April as she was vomiting the whole time due to her GERD. I feel so incredibly protective of her because she is so tiny.

Okay, so I mentioned that I’d start looking at private lets?? Yeah, I Signed some paperwork last week, and we now have our own house. It needs a lot of decorating, but that’s fine as it’s a long term let. It was FILTHY when I went in last week, so I started cleaning. By the time that it’s properly clean (and sterilised.) it will have taken a fortnight and several bottles of disinfectant and several litres of water for the steam cleaner. This is before we start decorating. The painting alone will probably take about a fortnight as well, which is a pain as I refuse to unpack/build anything until it’s cleaned and painted. Once that’s done I can order the blinds, and then we can move in. Once we’re in, I shall need to rent a small skip in order to clear the back garden. There’s a shed to dismantle, a broken whirlygig, a broken TV behind the shed, a bin that contains, God only knows what. There’s also a shitload of rubbish on the decking that needs shifting, as well as a fuck load of leaves. I also have a lilac tree in the garden, that will be staying.

I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…

Last updated January 14, 2018