15-05.18.96 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Riiiight… so my expected absence of two to four days become… a bit more than that in a way. Therefore… yeah… I’ll probably bloody spam this website with new entries. But for the Day-to-Day.... here is a

Rapid Fire Quick Stuff From My Absence

• The drive to Des Moines on Wednesday was ridiculous! Seriously! A conway truck almost killed me and when I stopped at the next gas station to make sure there was no damage or anything.... Conway Truck pulled up five minutes later to the same gas station to “set up for the night.” Just more evidence towards what we’ve been hearing. A friend of mine has been dealing with a sharp uptick in Truck Driver Defendants who have been very vocal that a “14 hour workday mandate is bullshit”. Dudes… if you’ve been driving for 14 hours straight… yeah, a break is a good idea. NOBODY wants to get killed out there!

• The CLEs were boring as hell. AND… one presenter spent the last half hour of his time swearing a blue streak at prosecutors and saying that it is “an evil horse’s ass move to ever charge a juvenile with a sexual crime.” Dude… I’m not even going to touch that argument because (1) you are way too passionate to be approached; (2) your excessive use of the F word in a “professional” setting has eliminated any respect you think you’re owed; (3) don’t stereotype opposing counsel or defendants… not all prosecutors are evil and not all juveniles who commit rape are “emotionally disturbed innocents who shouldn’t be put in jail.”

• I did enjoy spending so much time with my bestie again. We ate at many interesting places AND I discovered that he is in the process of building a house… so SUPER YAY for him!

• During the last day of the CLE… I got a call to set up an interview for one of the Assistant County Attorney positions I applied for. It was (today) Monday so… I had to extend my trip suddenly and on short notice. Which isn’t good because that meant (1) I had to ration my medication; (2) I had to stretch my clothes past one-day wear; (3) I would have to wear my backup suit to the interview… the purple stripey shirt that doesn’t appropriately go with any tie! I was freaking out most of the weekend about how that would look but… hopefully, it didn’t hurt the interview too much.

• Spent Saturday and parts of Sunday with my brother, sister-in-law and adorable niece. Got my belated birthday present from them- Red Dwarf Season X… looking forward to finally watching it. Also helped my brother build a chicken run. They recently bought some chickens to lay eggs for them. Plus, my niece was VERY cognizant of “Uncle” and “Family.” She even asked for me around story time and started being able to say my name. All good things!!

• Time with parents has been stressful. My dad’s hearing issues are getting worse and he refuses to deal with it. So instead he BLASTS television and ignores my mom… which is making her irritable and getting her hearing messed up. Plus… my dad, much like my brother, are too much “quick to judgment” types for me. I love having the conversations that stir thought and a crowd diverse enough to hear all ideas so as to make a “best” solution. Dad and Bro are much more “Thinking is great, but only in moderation” and “Lots of people aren’t worth listening to, thinking about, or dealing with.” Can be… an issue for me sometimes.

• Monday was INTERVIEW! First, the waking up and showering and trying to be pretty enough. Then the long drive up 35 and over 20. Then the interview itself! Which was awful but about as well as could be expected. LOTS of sideways comments about the fact that I went to Law School in Nebraska, SEVERAL comments about how my experience with PreTrial doesn’t matter or count in Iowa, and specifically telling me a few times that “being a county attorney isn’t like what you see on TV.” That comment REALLY cemented that they thought my education and experience were useless. I mentioned my internship at a county attorney office in Pottawattamie County Iowa and they asked how many jury trials I did. None were filed that summer but I did get a lot of convictions in traffic court. Didn’t matter. I started to get the distinct feeling that I was involved in a “Courtesy Interview”… the interviewers kept telling me (with no reason to) how being a County Attorney isn’t like the movies, and how Iowa isn’t like Nebraska and on and on. Then the truth came out. One of the applicants had been an intern in the office for several years. It was a legally mandated Courtesy Interview. Because state jobs MUST be announced publicly, and interviews MUST take place… but this job was already filled before they even posted the opening. I asked them a few questions so that, if I get an interview somewhere else, I can do better… and that was it.

• I decided that I didn’t want to drive 5 hours straight, so I stopped at my parents before going on to Omaha. I told them about the interview… which, of course I was going to but… probably not the best idea. My parents are old school AND have never been involved in the Legal Community outside of Jury Duty. Also… prior to Law School I had the good fortune of ALMOST every job for which I interviewed, I was offered a position. Since law school… it is much more like “reality” where interviews rarely equal positions. However, when I interview and don’t get the position… my parents FREAK OUT. They react as though (1) since/if it is the only interview, then I won’t get another one and I’ll be screwed forever; (2) clearly I’m not doing something right if I didn’t get the job, because there is no other reason why a position wouldn’t be extended; (3) you need to take this more seriously!
  So I get the whole sh’bang. Including my favorite dead horse “Just start applying for jobs in Omaha.” As I’ve said every time this comes up- I can’t. IF I wanted to apply for Lawyer Jobs in Nebraska I would at bare minimum be required to pay for/take the MPRE again and (likely, now a days) have to take the Nebraska Bar. Allow me to suggest that I would rather put a nail gun to my head and squeeze the trigger until I was no longer physically capable of pulling the trigger. I don’t want to pay for/study for/take another Bar Examination. Maybe in a few years but sure as fuck not right now!! It just… I know my parents mean well and are SUPER scared. Especially since my older brother (who is only 3.5 years older) has already done Military, Undergrad, Masters Degree, purchased 2 homes, started a family, and started a successful thriving business. So… my brother’s success versus me… my parents are SUPER freaked out for me. But… one interview does not a career destroy. I have 3 more applications out there right now. Two going out (for sure) in June when more positions open up. And I can always “Marshall Eriksen” the whole thing… which is to say even though I want to practice one type of law… if a good job in a good location comes up- I’ll apply and try for it even if it isn’t the type of law I want to do. Because… being employed is important to me.
  This over-freak out over-concern parents-who-don’t-understand-lawyer-employment-but-demanding-I-take-their-advice is one of many reasons I was not going to let my father pressure me into staying at their place for another night. He always does this to my brother and I. If we are at his house after 5 pm, then it means we must stay the night. No thanks, Dad. I’m flattered that my presence is requested but… I work tomorrow, I would like to sleep in my own bed, I would like to see my wife, etcetera.

• When I got home and unpacked… Apartment didn’t look half-bad. Bedroom, Kitchen and Living Room were all well maintained. Bathroom on the other hand. ::shudder:: After I relax a little bit from my very long drive (268 miles today)… I will have to clean that toilet or I seriously will not be able to use it. Yes, it is that bad. Gack. Perhaps there is value in the female method of toilet-using as you are less likely to witness the insides of the bowl.