disappointed and maybe i will in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

so as people might know Christopher was supposed to move out this wk. well he didn’t. something to do w/ the funding. honestly I was really hoping he would. not for him but for me. so that my house would feel like home again. there was a time prior to oct. that it did. and then in oct./nov. one night he got really upset which triggered me and so I became upset. and ever since it hasn’t felt like home.
now. during all that time I had the choice to move. and I regret that I didn’t. I’ve had other situations like that before. but I didn’t want people to know I didn’t feel safe in my own house. that it’s not healthy for me or anyone to be subjected to his verbal abuse. which btw wasn’t towards me. I didn’t want people being involved. which is why I wanted him to move first.
he doesn’t get upset now. but that doesn’t change what happened then. I still have the option to move. but that’s not really the point, for me. point is I don’t want people knowing why. although they already might. er I mean they might already. while I didn’t exactly tell them ‘hey I want to move bc it’s not healthy for me to be here right now’ well my mom figured that out from the few things I’ve told her. that Christopher gets upset that he won’t be w/ us much longer.
and to further this. even though they know why. I don’t want it to be talked about any further. but if I don’t end upmoving then i’ll regret that. now it’s still my choice [well far as I know anyway].
i’m just disappointed that it took this damn long. and that it might take longer. for him to move out. thing is that again there’s actually nothing I can do about it. no the only thing I can do something about is my situation. and I clearly don’t want to. I don’t want to get used to somewhere new. if that’s what it comes to then that’s what it comes to. no it already has come to that.
it’s a big decision. for anyone. and it’s not like it’ll happen overnight. no actually I’ve already made the decision. I’ve made the decision to stay where i’m at and remain how I am. and not change things. well. that entry was entirely unneccesary. I guess my main point here was/is i’m disappointed.