i want her to be more like me not. like her. in Moving/SSI/host homes

more of my bitching.

ya know. my friend lou [i mentioned her in the last enrty] once told me something about letting people be who they are. and I used to think I was good at that. cause I don’t tell people what to do/not do or tell them how to/how not to live their lives. as I don’t like it when people do that to me, so. and also they already know what they shouldn’t do. it’s like if someone tells a smoker not to smoke. not much help. [which is why i don’t]. well in that regard i’m good at it but that’s not all of it.
and w/ Stephanie. although i’m again not going to work things out w/ her cause then she’d want to talk about it. I honestly wish she was more like me. low key and not super reactive and friendly. ya know i’m someone who as mentioned likes keeping to myself. and when you’re around someone who’s really friendly and says hi to everyone and tells them to have a good day. that doesn’t work. if you want to tell people to have a good day that’s fine just do it on your own time. not mine. I like how I am parts of it. I like that i’m mellow and low key and I like people like that. Stephanie makes a big thing out of everything. and she has this running commentary when we drive. like ‘oh that’s such a cute dog’ and then a min. later ‘I like the color of that house’. and then a min. later she talks about something else. like i don’t need a commentary on everything. [and yes i know why she does it, so]. she’s like never quiet when we drive. and when I’ve just woken up I don’t want to talk. if she changed this i’d be uncomfortable, so. and i’d rather be comfortable and discontent then uncomfortable and content.
so my point here. is that I don’t think I accept Stephanie as she is. or maybe I do I don’t know........
see I didn’t actually choose to live w/ her. they chose her for me when I abruptly involuntarily left my last house. yes prior to that i’d met Stephanie. so it’s not like I didn’t know who she was. I just didn’t know she was this annoying. omygod. if i’d known. and if i’d had the choice [thank you another thing I didn’t have a choice in. awesome. that was sarcasm btw. and yes I know why they moved me] I don’t know that I would’ve chosen to live w/ her. ya know others who don’t live w/ her see her at this nice person. [well she’s not.........I mean she’s not like. not a nice person]. yes bc they don’t live w/ her. ya know I meet someone and they seem cool but idinno they might annoy the hell out of me if I lived w/ them. I wish there was a way. to know the outcome of something w/o having to experience it prior. to that. that’d be great and personally save me a lot of time. or being annoyed. or w/e.
she’s one of those who’s. too nice. like yeah I care too but there’s only like. one person I really care about all the time and that’s evan. Stephanie cares a lot abouteveryone. like if someone we know is sick she’ll be like ‘aww that sucks how can I help I hope you feel better’. god they’re not 2 you don’t have to partonise them. again I see it as her being annoying. she’s the kindof person who if I was sick she’d be even more like this than she already is. and then i’d feel like i’m incompetent. which is why she never knows when i’m sick. I could go on further about this but I think I already have quite enough, so.

Last updated July 17, 2015