15-04.29.86 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

:( The day has definitely gone down hill.
I woke up at 6 am Tuesday morning feeling okay. Stomach is bugging me but… I checked my workout schedule to see what the plan was. Which was to go back to bed because all of that starts on Wednesday; lol. So then I woke up at 11 am when I was called in to work early. Court had some AM issues so I was brought in to help out the PM staffing. The court shift was unnecessarily and agonizingly long. Followed by considerable paperwork. When I got home, the Apartment Office was closed so I couldn’t do some of the stuff I had wanted to today. Instead, I cleaned up a bit. Wife is getting her anxiety on again pretty hard core; so I did dishes, cleaned the kitchen, tidied the living room… really did what I could to make the living space as tidy as she would want it to help the anxiety issue.

Turns out… it will never be enough. Because… she got home at 11 pm. Thanked me for doing the dishes (positive sign) and crashed because her feet hurt. Meanwhile (of course) my pain is escalating again; my stomach is ooky, and now my itchiness came back for some reason(??). But as I play Mortal Kombat, Wife grabs her laptop and starts working on… something… which is never good.

After the first hour; she has gone into that rage-based silence. That very tense, very intense silence where you just wait for the pin to drop. Turns out she was trying to get a video of herself from her phone to her computer. This video and related materials will come up again later.

After the second hour; Wife actually started to throw things. She had surrounded herself with paperwork trying to figure out what was going on and when I asked if there was anything I could do to help… she hurled the whole stack at me.

After the third hour (meaning… it is now some time after 2 am) Wife is experiencing the kind of anger that infiltrates every word and sentence. I’m sure most people know the kind… where even if the question is “Can I get you something from the kitchen?” the answer isn’t a “no, no thank you” but a

So as the 4th hour came upon us… I just stopped. Kind of a common thing anymore. Don’t interact, don’t engage, don’t acknowledge… just sit in the silence and allow the tension to grow. Because… from what people say… if Wife is Asperger.... she doesn’t feel the tension… she doesn’t understand how her building rage affects those around her… so I try really hard not to let it.

But… between my pain, my stomach and the air thick with rage at 3 am… sleep has been difficult and I’m feeling more ill than usual.

With that being said though… I’ve got big things planned for Wednesday, Friday, and all of next week so stay tuned!

But first… a question. Perhaps more of a concern really; because I genuinely don’t know if I’m reading too much into a situation or not.

This past week was quite active. By “this past week” I am referring to April 19- April 25. That Sunday, I took my wife to her first Rock Concert… she took LOADS of pictures of the bands. Thursday I was sworn in to the Iowa Bar Association and shook hands with/conversed at length with the Chief Justice of the Iowa State Supreme Court. Friday Wife and I spent time with my brother, sister-in-law and niece whom Wife hadn’t seen in many months. Wife has loads of pictures of the little Bug as she is now 19 months old. Saturday, I fired an AR-15 for the first time and fired a 9mm hand gun for the first time. My handgun precision was startling considering I’d never done it before. Tight center grouping, limited misses. Wife had never shot anything before and also shot an AR-15 and a 9mm. She had a blast. Lots of pictures of her and some video we shot of her firing a gun for the first time. It is funny… we started her on the AR… a gun that looks scary and sounds scary but has ZERO kick… seriously… my first time shooting was a 12 gauge shotgun and I was bruised for a week… the AR you barely notice any recoil.

ANYWAY… here’s where I think I may be reading in to things.....
My wife has a bachelor’s degree in Photography. She is an experienced picture taker and developer and has a lot of her work framed in this apartment or at her parents’ house. She took loads of pictures of the Concert… loads of pictures of Bug (niece)… and had loads of pictures of herself shooting. But none of me. No pictures of me shooting (the obscured photo of a male on my FB is actually my brother). No pictures of me taking the Oath of Office to become a lawyer. No pictures of me shaking hands with the Chief Justice.

It is just hard not to see a message in that, I guess.