Off My Chest in meh...

Dear Person Of Interest:

Every now and again, I find myself thinking about you and I get angry all over again. Since I’ve changed my perspective in life, there are lessons and regrets. You were both. I found myself going on a rant as if I was talking to you. The mere thought of you makes me remember how I can cut off a person, burn a bridge all without not giving much of a damn how you take it.

Even though I constantly say I recognize my part in what transpired between us; the lies, the manipulation, the taking advantage. I mostly blame you. And for you to keep trying to pop up in my life and pretend that we are the best of friends is just patronizing. That is why you get the response you get from me. We happened to be in the same place, you see me and tap me on the shoulder like I was going to be happy to see you. I looked at you and kept walking with no malice. More like it was a mistake that you even touched me and I didn’t know you. When we saw each other at the D.A.’s office and we argued in front of a woman we were supposed to be assisting. Like when you called the very last time and I simply said, “Oh God,” and hung up on you. Yeah, I don’t like you.

I’ve forgiven you, but not myself. I put up with a lot of stuff. I never gained from being with you. You took, and took from me. You never gave back, not even when it was asked. You never took care of home. I provided things for you and I was left to struggle. There was no way I should have been struggling.

I put myself between you and my family. I bore a lot of bullshit and shielded you from it while it rained holy hell on me.

I wish I could erase you from memory, but unfortunately it’s not likely I will because I just remember things too well. I’m suppose to remember. You were a lesson, mistake, and regret.

Last updated April 22, 2015