Why did this happen? in Friends With the Benedicts

So I had to pay $35 for my Abilify, (it was actually my bro’s rx, I don’t have my own, but I WILL.) and proceeded to lose not only THAT bottle, but the bottle my Mom found in her drawer that was there before I paid the 35. Whatever, didn’t matter, that was just more I could have, right? WRONG. I have been a raging biotch the last couple of days. I’m glad I stayed away from here, because apparently I am also very opinionated and get offended very easily. There is one issue that I thought I wrote a private entry about, but I guess it got deleted. Oh well. It should just go away. Why won’t things just go away? My Mom had her mediport put in today that she will receive chemo in. The whole family is still pissed about the fact that since they have deemed her cancer free, why does she still need 5 months of, and this is the doc’s words, “Very aggressive” chemo and then possibly radiation on top of it? I say let em do it. She did have a spot in her thyroid that lit up during the pet scan, so there might be cancer there. This is the ONLY way they can assure her that she is, in fact, cancer free afterwards. I started thinking the other day about getting old, hence the poem on the previous page. I didn’t realize until after I wrote it, that I just always assumed my Mom would be there to make fun of me when it happens. I am praying to a god that does not exist that my Mom will be here when I am so old that I can be made fun of. Please don’t take my Mommy from me. Other than Laura, she is all I have. :(

**Oh, and my Mom did go ahead and pay the stupidly high price of 35 for the OTHER 30 damn pills of Abilify. Yesterday I was a leaky sieve. I cried when the cable got shut off, I cried when I couldn’t find my cigarettes. You name it, I cried at it. And not just crying, sobbing like the world would ennnnnd. And I really felt suicidal. So anyone who has me on FB, please ignore me at least until this passes. Gimme a few days, Mmmm kay? Thanks love. Love yall. <3

Steph