Working Mom in Inside My Head
- April 18, 2015, 2:54 p.m.
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- Public
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve written. Time feels like it’s flying by. Samuel will be four months old next Thursday. I love this little boy with everything that I am. I look at past entries when he was first born and it feels like a different person was writing them. Things are far from perfect, but the thought that he was a mistake or that he should be adopted are completely ridiculous now.
It took a few weeks for Samuel and I to get used to each other (me more so than him) and for us to get into a routine. We finally did it…and then I went back to work. I don’t care what anyone says, being a working mom sucks. I work a Monday - Friday eight hour per day schedule and it still sucks. I could’ve never survived doing three twelve hour shifts like I used to. I wouldn’t see Sam for three days a week which is absolutely unacceptable. Throw night shifts into the mix and my life would’ve been more nightmarish than it is now.
I wake up between 4-4:30am to try and get myself and Sam looking somewhat presentable, pack up the car, and leave by 6:30-6:45. I arrive at daycare at around 7:15, spend a few minutes of quiet quality time with Sam, then go into daycare. I unpack him and his stuff, kiss him goodbye, and I’m back on the road by 7:30ish and get to work about 20 minutes later. I run around like a chicken to try and see all of my patients, do admissions, set up discharges by 1pm so I have time to pump at work. I leave work at 4, pick up Sam and pack up the car, and I’m home by 5pm. Sam is overtired and crying and my two dogs have peed everywhere except the wee wee pad and need to be fed. Sam is hysterical while I throw my pumping gear in the dishwasher, feed and clean up after my dogs, and put Sam to sleep. Bath night makes my life extra fun....At this point my husband come home and complains how tired he is and I refrain from hitting or fighting with him. We usually order in or Mike cooks dinner (and trashes the kitchen which I have to clean) and I pass out shortly after dinner. Mike complains that we never have sex. He sleeps 6-8 hours of consecutive sleep per night while I wake up every two hours or so for the baby. Mike claims that he doesn’t hear the baby and that the baby won’t take a bottle from him. After 4-5 hours of non-consecutive of sleep my day starts again.
Mike and I run errands on the weekends and usually end up fighting. He plays video games while I make an attempt to clean the house, do dishes, and the laundry. I love Sam, but this new life of mine sucks.
My relationship with Sam has significantly inproved, while my marriage feels like it took a nosedive. My mother was a stay at home mom her entire life which she doesn’t recommend either. I would not want to be financially dependent on someone anyway, but being a working mom isn’t fun either. I’m hoping that this is a phase and will pass soon.
Last updated April 29, 2015
Always Laughing ⋅ April 18, 2015
I can't talk as I don't have kids, but I think your husband could help you out a bit more while he is awake such as cleaning and picking up around the house. I hope that as he gets older and is up less through the night you will get more sleep and that will help. I am glad things are so much better though.
paradiseFOUND ⋅ April 18, 2015
You really need to adopt the theory of "when we are off work we are both off and need to split house and baby duties" our mat leaves are a year here and I would wind up "working" 12-14 hrs days even when my husband was off work. It wasn't until we said "hey we are both working... When you walk in that door duties are shared...." If he plays video games for an hour, you get an hour to do whatever.. And vice versa. Really makes them reconsider what they are doing. Weekends, one person takes a night for baby duty and the other the next night so both parties are getting atleast one full nights sleep. It ain't going to get easier until you figure out how to balance life outside your job!
Dream-me ⋅ April 19, 2015
We are on our second. The first year is hardest on your marriage (in my, and most of my friends' experience). After that, everyone is usually sleeping better and routines get more established. Hang in there! I remember feeling sooo bitter towards my husband in the first year of our son's life, but it got better!